"SERENITY NOW!"
-Matt Maez's rallying cry for calm in an otherwise crazy world

"...Good, you're normal..."
-Liz Steinfield's response to Adam using a PC rather then a Mac (I think she was too tired to fully comprehend what she was saying)

Kate: "We had some hall trauma last night."
Adam: "Not hall drama but hall trauma? Whoa."
-Kate and Adam's conversation on the status of residence hall events

"You know I think I've figured out the problem with our basketball team. Any plan that makes me the tallest person on the team has to be fundamentally flawed."
-Adam's analysis on his Basketball team's performance during a hellwell pickup game  ¶ 3:19 PM

  "Guess who's back...back again? Adam's back...tell a friend. Adam's back, Adam's back, Adam's back..."
-Adam Conner's voicemail

"You're a dork...such a dork. What a dork...a big dork. What a dork, what a dork, what a dork. My God you're such a loser. Oh and by the way I need a big favor..."
-Liz Steinfield's voicemail left to Adam which by the way is a perfect example of exactly how NOT to ask a favor from someone

Adam: "I was asleep when you called and really tired. It took me a second to reorient myself."
Stiffler: "I swear to God I'll reorient you if I EVER hear that voicemail of yours again...I'll reorient you real good."
-Adam Conner and Stiffler on Adam's Voicemail Eminem Impression

"I am going to murder you. I was calling to see if Ed (friend in the Emergency Room) was OK, but after hearing that voicemail I am just going to hurt you. And then I am going to kill you. Kill you until you're dead."
-Chris Miller's message to Adam on his voicemail

"You are the biggest tool alive!"
-Kathleen's reaction to the voicemail

"You know I really didn't believe it until I heard it...but you are a loser."
-Kelly Shea's reaction to the voicemail  ¶ 3:12 PM

  "...I invest in my friends..."
-Kate on the value of friendship

Professor Loge: "Who is the leader of the anti-war movement?"
Adam: "Saddam Hussein?"
-Adam Conner's pithy comment on the war in Iraq  ¶ 12:47 PM

  "I hope this food doesn't turn me into a lesbian."
-Dan Getman's fears that his professor's inviting the class to dinner would turn him into a lesbian like the professor

Question to Chuck D from audience: "When are record companies going to stop taking advantage of rap artists?"
Chris' muttered sarcastic comment: "When they start exploiting techno."
-Chris Miller during an evening spent with the pioneering rap artist Chuck D on the Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr Day.  ¶ 8:52 PM

  Adam: "Hey guess who is coming to D.C.? Yo Yo Ma."
Chris: "Want to know who is not going to go see that? Yo Yo Me."
-Chris Miller's response to the announced concert date of world famous celloist Yo Yo Ma's concert date in D.C.  ¶ 5:45 PM