Quotes of the Day

2003-11-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

"Unfortunately no one can be told how bad Matrix 3 is...you have to see it to believe it."
*In a deep Lawerence Fishburn Voice.

That, in essence, describes how bad, no how TERRIBLE, the third installment of the Matrix was. Words seem so inadequate to describe how betrayed I feel right now. But perhaps “quotes of the day” will help me explain. Here are the best of tonight’s “ANTI-MATRIX” quotes. We won't spoil the movie for you, except to say that it sucks. We only do that so you don't get you hopes up, like we did, and so you won't have you spirits crushed, like we did. It doesn’t really matter because you’ll go see it, because you can’t help yourself. But then you’ll know what I mean. And this shit will be a lot funnier.

-Adam “I want my ten dollars back” Conner

"WHAT THE FUCK?"
-Evan Haas, Adam Conner, Chris Miller, Alex P., Ali Shariat, Tim Kaldass, Derrik Newberry, Joshua Vogel...etc. all
Our reaction upon the credits rolling at the end of "The Matrix Revolutions."

"NO SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK?"
-The same kids. All of us. Reiterating our anger.

"Maybe it's not really over...wait...it is? WHAT THE FUCK?!??!"
-Adam Conner trying to comprehend what just happened.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!??!"
-Everyone who saw Matrix 3. or everyone who will.

"HA HA! WE HAVE ALL YOUR MONEY! SUCKERS!"
-The Wakowski brothers.

"TAKE HER EYES!"
-Will Hitchcock, at a certain scene...well if you want to know what scene scroll to the bottom so I don't spoil it.*

"Seriously I just want them to make a Matrix 4. It can just be 15 minutes of the Wakowski brothers apologizing. Like we were on drugs and shit."
-Evan Haas on why we need a Matrix 4.

"No, wait drugs would've made this movie better."
-Chris Miller on something obviously true.

"They just need to be honest. Look they drove a dumptruck full of money up to our house. You CAN'T SAY NO! You would've done the same."
-Adam Conner on the Wakowski brother's motivation.

"I've lost my faith in cinema. Only The Lord of the Rings can save me now."
-Adam Conner putting all of his faith on the savior movie, THE RETURN OF THE KING, DECEMBER 17th! Fucking sweet.

Aaron: cinema is not quite dead- although I think the Tupoc movie kinda put a round in the chamber for movie russian roulette
Adam: or "exit wounds" with ja rule and steven seagal. i never thought you could make steven segal look like marlin brando put him next to ja rule...
-Aaron Childers of VMI making his first apperance on "Quotes of the Day." Congrats Aaron.

Background: Adam and Evan are angry about the third Matrix. This will be a recurring theme in there conversations.

Evan: It's because the tears inside have transformed themselves in to bitter frozen shards in my cold cold heart.
Adam: it will be so long before you trust a woman, i mean a, movie again.
-Evan Haas and Adam Conner on a betrayl so deep that we thought only women were capable of it.

Travis: "So you're saying I should see a manitee?"
Travis: "Or matinee or however you spell it"
Adam: "Actually a manitee would probably be more entertaining"
-Travis Zander with a classic case of bad spelling, but honestly manitees are better actors then Keanu Reeves.

Adam: honestly a manitee wouldve been more interesting
Leah: hahahahahhaaaaa
Leah: the sea cow
Leah: ahahahahhahaaaa
Leah: that must have been bad
-Leah Fulton trying to comprehend how bad it was.

"yeah, or wait to make it a blockbuster night."
-Chris "Rez" Miller on the best advice for the Matrix 3 to give people.

"well kyle the "special" kid in out fraternity says its cool"
-Travis Zander with the only positive endorsement for the Matrix 3.

Adam: you know what?
Adam: i want to take the pill that lets me forget
Evan: the blue pill. i need one right now.
Adam: absofuckinglutely, i want to wake up and not remember this at all
-Adam and Evan with a classic Matrix analogy.

Adam: we should’ve been warned
Chris: yup
Adam: we should consider it our civic duty to warn people
Chris: lol
Adam: with signs and shit
-Adam and Chris on a way to spend our weekend. DAMMIT we just want our money back.

Adam: seriously
Adam: i cant tell if they tried to hard or if they stopped trying
Adam: and thats a bad sign
Matt: tried hard
-Adam Conner and Matt E. on just WTF.

"dude when you work to raise peoples expectations you are responsible when you don’t meet them."
-Me on the fucking wakowski brothers

"come on...at the end...arms all out to side...like jesus...all the light."
-Matt E. on the diety like presence of Keanu Reeves.

"When I think of Jesus I DO NOT picture Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves makes a terrible Jesus figure."
-Me again. You know what scares me? That Keanu Reeves PEAKED with Bill and Ted. He is NO JC.

"WWJD? NOT SEE THE MATRIX. And strike down Keanu for that whole false God thing."
-me again.

Evan: just.... wow....
Evan: the writing was SO bad
Adam: did they NOT run it by a test audiecne?
Evan: clearly not.
-Evan and Adam discussing the quote "dialouge" unquote. Yeah. My ass. Monkeys on typewriters would've done a better job. It's just like episode 2 of star wars with my same theory. SCI-FI WRITERS CAN'T DO LOVE.

Adam: remember "what is the matrix?" how about "how bad is the matrix?"
Evan: i almost need to go watch the first one to be able to wake up tomorrow
Adam: FUCK
Adam: and were going to dream about it too
Adam: FUCK
Evan: yeah i know
Adam: itll torture us in our sleep
Evan: i'll dream about it and wake up crying
Adam: just like the real thing
-The nightmares that will plauge us in the dream world. or the matrix world. or whatever the fuck world it is where i can't escape keanu's bad acting.

Adam: i feel like i was taken advantage of
Adam: like the wakowski brothers slipped me a rufeze
Adam: like they slipped me a blue pill
Adam: and snuck out in the morning
Alex: that's awful man
Adam: and i just woke up so confused in the morning
-Adam with a terrible, but oddly fitting, analogy. yeah im a bad person.

Leah: did you have high expectations?
Adam: you have no idea
Adam: SO MANY HIGH EXPECTATIONS
Leah: did they at least resolve things??
Adam: keanu reeves makes a terrible jesus like figure
Leah: haahhahaa
Leah: thats awful
-Leah Fulton and Adam Conner. JUST DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP.

Adam: there are few words to describe my feelings right now
Evan: i'm crying inside.
Adam: im so angry
Evan: i'm so sad.
Evan: i was so hopeful.
Evan: so hopeful.
Adam: this is what its like to have your heart destroyed
Evan: yes.
-Evan and Adam again. NEVER put you faith in a movie that stars Keanu Reeves. We know better now.

Evan: i'm reading reviews to make sure i'm not imagining what i saw
-No Evan, you weren't imagining it. It was real.

Aaron: I suggest seeing it again drunk- that almost worked for me with Gods and Generals
-AARON WITH THE BEST ADVICE ON HOW TO SEE THE MATRIX 3. *trust me you don't need a highly focused mind to understand it.

And an unrelated to Matrix, but Texas based quote. *evan is from texas. i being from NM and required to say FUCK TEXAS. but no hard feelings or nothing.

Adam: so how about "alamo" eh?
Evan: looks like an action movie
Evan: oh i'll see it.
Adam: its kind of like titanic in a sense, you know, because you know how it ends
Evan: please don't compare my states history to titanic.
Adam: at least they made the mexicans speak spanish
Adam: or english with an accent
Evan: english with an accent is more accurate in modern days, that's for sure
Adam: and then they were hired to clean up the remains of the alamo for less then minimum wage
Evan: exactly
-Evan and Adam with jokes only Texans/Westerners will understand. Hook 'em horns and shiznit.

BUT DON'T JUST TRUST OUR FIVE PAGES OF BITCHING! EXPERTS SAY THE SAME TOO!
"The Matrix Revolutions sucks."
-- Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

"I'm warning you: don't see this film--because whatever third movie you envisioned in your head, no matter how lame, has got to be better than this."
- Widgett Walls, NEEDCOFFEE.COM

"Watching the movie is sort of like finishing off a filet mignon dinner with Pop Rocks."
-- Phil Villarreal, ARIZONA DAILY STAR

"With The Matrix Revolutions, the Wachowski brothers have managed to pull off something nearly impossible. They've made a movie about the end of the world that leaves us entirely indifferent to the outcome."
-- Chris Vognar, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

all thanks to www.rottentomatoes.com

*WARNING: SPOILER BELOW

the scene where Trinity lays dying and a eyeball-less Neo holds her. Also home of the greatest dialouge ever.
Neo:"You can't die."
Trinity: "Yes I can."

2003-10-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

Matt: that steve guy better be chillin with Cheney in that "undisclosed location" right now.....unless of course cheney is a cubs fan
-Matt E. on the fate of the Cubs fan who interfered with last nights game...leading to the Cubs missing their shot at the world series, a place they haven't been since 1908. That sucks.

2003-10-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

We’re back. Long hailed for our superior editorial wit and marginally funny quotes (or was it vice-versa) we here at “Quotes of the Day” have been out of the public eye for far too long. And so today we reemerge into the cutthroat world of posting quotes culled from our crack staffs daily lives online. There aren’t a whole lot of websites that do this and maintain the same high standards and practices that we do, but hey we’re just that good. So please sit back, crack up, and enjoy the newly returned “QUOTES OF THE DAY.”

-Adam Conner
“Quotes of the Day” Editor-In-Chief and Founder

Adam: you miss the thrill of the chase my friend
Adam: the call of the wild
Matt: haha yes yes i do
Adam: You’re like a lion who has a ton of meat in his freezer back in the cave (or wherever the fuck lions live, you’re the Africa expert) and yet you still go out and hunt the gazelle
-Matt E. and Adam Conner discussing the primitive thrill of the hunt that dwells deep within all of us.

Auto response from Erica: you'd think writing about Machiavelli is terrible... then you get referenced as meat in a freezer!
-An angry away message from Erica…I don’t quite know why though.

Matt: well my friend...you see Africa is filled with many gazelles....frolicking across the open planes unexpecting of the lion just waiting to pounce on them and eat them
-Matt E. explaining the survival dynamics of the Circle of Life in the African Serengeti

Adam (1:29:41 AM): I have another costume suggestion
Adam (1:29:43 AM): a gazelle
Erica (1:29:51 AM): and fuck you for the gazelle
Adam (1:29:59 AM): you know you weren’t actually the gazelle
Adam (1:30:04 AM): what if you’d been more exotic meats?
Adam (1:30:07 AM): like
Adam (1:30:11 AM): like
Adam (1:30:28 AM): a Zebra
Erica (1:30:49 AM): I’m in the freezer
Erica (1:30:57 AM): and he's out looking for gazelles
Erica (1:31:04 AM): how come I don’t get to go out looking for some lions?
Adam (1:31:15 AM): are you saying you want to be eaten?
Adam (1:31:29 AM): or what if
Adam (1:31:35 AM): we bring the analogy of the hunter into this
Erica (1:31:57 AM): I don’t want to be eaten
Erica (1:32:05 AM): I’m saying if he's gonna go find gazelles
Erica (1:32:09 AM): I’m gonna go find me some apes
Erica (1:32:16 AM): I’m no meat in the freezer
Adam (1:32:40 AM): apes?
Adam (1:32:46 AM): apes eat bananas
Erica (1:33:00 AM): the apes aren't going to EAT me
Erica (1:33:07 AM): he's hunting gazelles
Erica (1:33:10 AM): I get to hunt too!
Adam (1:33:51 AM): ...I think we need to rework this analogy
-Erica Finkle and Adam Conner discussing hammering out analogy specifics

Lucrece: So I told my mom that my friend was a man now
Lucrece: And her response was "what? does he yell out "a la verga" during sex?"
-Lucrece Borrego describing a mutual friend of ours from High School and his ascent into manhood…hilarious of course.

Lucrece: Speaking of sex
Adam: Yes?
Lucrece: I met this kid who was telling me that he gets too much ass and that he is sick of girls throwing themselves at him and it just isn't fun anymore
Lucrece: It was ridiculous!
Adam: Kill him
Adam: You have my permission
Lucrece: I'll let him know
Adam: Seriously WTF
Lucrece: He was like "ya, this weekend these two girls wanted me to hook up with them at the same time, but it was just the same old shit, boring"
Lucrece: The thing is, he's cute, but he's not craaazy hot
Lucrece: And thus my conclusion that girls are way too easy and our ruining it for everyone- you saturate the market and the price goes down
-Lucrece Borrego describing one of those men who ruin it for the rest of us. Bastards got a lock on the market and doesn’t appreciate what he apparently has.

Erica: "You know what I think of Clinton. He's like that cool substitute teacher that took the place of our real one for a few months back in elementary school. He gave us laughs, no homework, and brought us enough candy to shut us up for a lengthy period of time. And then mean old Bush came back. Damn mean old Bush..."
-Erica Finkle quoting someone on the lost sentiment we all have towards the good old Clinton years. Stock markets kicked major ass when they only went up.

Lucrece: You are a fuckin badass
Lucrece: I am proud to be your friend
-Lucrece Borrego with another random, but cool, comment about me.

Ed: rum is good stuff
Ed: my mother collects it
Ed: well not really collects, but drinks a lot of it from different places
-Ed Stautberg on his mothers collecting habits.

Lindsay: Dress sharp, be funny and perverted
Adam: I am all of the above to be honest
Lindsay: I know
-Lindsay Benjamin on how I should try and pick up chicks.

Travis: yeah I know your jellious
Adam: especially of your spelling
Travis: hey, thats why the invinted spell checer
-Travis Zander’s instant messenger conversation with Adam Conner. The spelling has not been changed at all.

Ryan: My friend on not being able to end relationships:
“I’m shitty at that, ill have like 5 girls come to our parties all thinking they are the ones, I solve the problem by drinking till I can’t see.”
-Ryan McGlone on his friends advice on how to deal with girls.

im sooooooooo dRUNK.....................where are you..in vIRGINMA.....im such a dork im imming u across the wroom.......but ur not really there so its all good......
-Ryan McGlone’s drunk instant message to my away message when I was at a conference in Bumfuck, Virginia.

Auto Response from Adam: In Bumfuck, Virginia.
Kyle: Are you gonna fuck some bums in Bumfuck, VA?
Kyle: Cuz that would make sense...
-Kyle Commenting on my possible activities in Virginia due to my away message description

Ryan: There's more pressure there then in both of my back tires!
-Ryan McGlone pointing to a busty lass on TV and declaring.

Kyle: Dude
Kyle: I went clubbing last night in Seattle
Kyle: ...and Sir-Mix-Alot (a Seattle native) was there, and he hosted an ass shaking contest for the ladies
-Kyle F. describing what had to be a truly seminal moment in his life

Tommie: Hey this needs to be a shirt
Tommie: "Friends don't let friends go to Texas"
Tommie: And "Texas..... the Manifest Destiny gone wrong"
Tommie: If I can spread the word... then that's one person closer to a perfect texas free world
-Tommie Begay with some truly FANTASTIC tshirt ideas. BTW fuck Texas.

Adam: Dude we need to do semester at sea!
Chris: That’d be awesome!
Chris: I wonder how much beer we can bring on board?
Adam: Could we make our beds on top of cases of beer?
-Chris Miller and Adam Conner discussing future study abroad plans on a boat with alcohol while tanked on a way to the club.

Adam: I miss the ghetto.
Matt: hahahaha you've never lived in the ghetto
Adam: i beg to differ
Adam: NM ranks first in all the bad stuff and last in all the good stuff
Matt: hahaha suks for you
-Matt E. and Adam Conner discussing Adam’s ghetto heritage.

Adam: Can you believe China is sending a man into space?
Ryan: With what? A stepladder?
-Ryan McGlone and Adam Conner speculating on the future of the Chinese manned space exploration program.

Yeah one made out of rope and bamboo.
-Matt E. commenting on the earlier Chinese stepladder to space comment and expressing similar distrust of the Chinese space program.

"Well see some little kids aren’t potty trained so clearly we cant let them go swimming in the gene pool."
-Some fucking tool in my incredibly useless "History of Nature Nurture debate class" commenting on natural selection. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

RESPECT THE BONCH!
-Kyle F.'s BONCHtacular away message.

Adam: Have you respected the BONCH today?
Kyle: Dude I am in a constant state of BONCH respecting.
-Kyle F. and Adam Conner on his perpetual state of BONCH respecting.

Kid 1: I saw some dude with a Lazio sticker one time in high school during a debate tournament. Man what a fucking choda.
Kid 2: I love the reference to a US Senatorial Candidate and penis that is wider then it is longer in the same sentance.
Adam: Only at GW.
-2 kids in my Strategic Political Communication Class discussing the FAILED attempt by Rick Lazio to get elected. Tool. Funny penis reference too.

Bonch to the double bonch, bro
-Kyle F. with another masterful BONCH comment

2003-07-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

"I'll be back."
-Arnold Schwarzenegger in the cult 1980's classic cinema "The Terminator."
Arnold was true to his prophetic words he uttered while in pursuit of Linda Hamilton in the first Terminator. And he proved it by making Terminator 2 and now Terminator 3. (BTW T3 is not T1 or even T2 but it's still pretty good) And now Arnold is considering running for the Governor of California.

Arnold's life is clearly a metaphor for my own. I said I would be back and here I, updating "QUOTES OF THE DAY" once again. And like Arnold I am also considering a run for the governor of California. Well my friend Kelly Shea is considering it (upon my urging). So here we are newly updated with quotes. More to follow from my trip to Israel that commences in a few days as well as a link to my soon to come live journal. Enjoy yo.

Adam

"If I lose to another adopted asian I'm getting out of the speechwriting business."
-Adam in Indianapolis, Indiana before WINNING THE ORATORICAL CONTEST. Last year I lost to a girl who spoke about being an adopted korean abandoned at birth and adopted by white people. THAT'S MY LIFE STORY DAMMIT.

Shannon: "ADAM STOP STARING AT THE HOOTERS WAITRESS!"
Adam: "Listen to me. No one goes to Hooter to be subtle. They (the waitresses) like it."
Jordon: "Yeah and they also prefer firm slaps to the ass as a thank you."
-Shannon Lawson, Jordon Landry, and I discussing the nearly Machiavellian interactions between patrons at Hooters in downtown Indianapolis.

"Texas. The only state arrogant enough to make its flag larger then the American flag."
-Will Hitchcock noticing some of the subtle clues of Texan arrogance.

"Oh that's not a pool, that's a mud puddle."
-Jodi's friend Lianna to Will while tanked.

"Back in the 202..."
-Will Hitchcock's saying for being back in D.C. adopted by Megan Lind.

"I thought we went over this . . . join the church choir and then score with the choir chicks, if it worked in amrican pie it can work now."
-Ed on how to pick up women. For the record in American Pie he joined the School Choir and not the Church choir. The final installment in the American Pie series, American Wedding, comes out on August 1st! Bet you didn't even know they were making a sequel DID YOU?!??! The pie-molester marries the band geek while Stiffler surely does something nasty. I'm stoked.

"Kelly Shea for California governor! cause lets face it you've elected old white guys to the office for HOW many years?!"
-Adam Conner's idea for getting friend Kelly elected governor of California in the upcoming recall election. All you need is $3,500 dollars and 65 signatures of people who live in California. What a great idea huh?!? It would sure look good our resumes.

Adam: "If you ran for governor we could even make a reality TV show about it."
Kelly: "Um...no."
Adam: "I can see where that could be bad. Like the conversations between you, me, and Chris. 'So when we tax coke as it comes over the border do we tax it by the kilo or by the pound? And lets talk kickbacks too. Hey wait a minute, does the red light on the camera mean it's ON?!??!?!?!?!?'"
-Kelly and I discussing the scandal's that she would encounter during her term as CA Governor.

Adam: "Chris could be in charge of border security."!
Kelly: "Yeah Chris in charge of drug smuggling. That would solve all our budget problems!"
-Kelly and I discussing who to appoint in some key positions during her period of governor. Let me say this, Chris has never been more honored.

Ed: HEY!
Ed:You sir are RASCIST
Ed: here is how I derived this
Ed: Whites make up about 44 % of the population
Ed: males are about 21% of the general pop
Ed: and older ones are only a bout a third of that
Ed: so therefore, they only represent 7% of the United States
Ed: this is clearly a minority
Ed: you hate minorities,
Ed: ergo- you are racist
Ed: people like you make me SICK!
-Ed commenting on my above comment and accusing me of being a racist. It really hurts coming from a WASP from Manhattan's Upper East side. Strike no more blows upon me Ed.

Tommie: I am gay
Tommie: no really I am
Tommie: i just wanted to tell you that
Tommie: but hey let me tell you why I am gay
Tommie: because..... my name is tommie begay
Tommie: that name is synonymous with "homosexual
Tommie: second... i am native american and native americans are known to have homosexuals
Tommie: like caucasian, native americans, and hispanics... but that is just a technicallity
Tommie: and finally i am gay because.... well i am tommie begay
Tommie: the very essence of tommie begay bleeds flamboyancy and interior decoration along with a limp wrist and last but not least..... I am the essence of Richard Simmons.
-Tommie Begay coming out of the closet in quite a fortright way with me. Tommie I'm flattered but...not interested. Not my team to bat for, sorry. But I do wish you the best.

Actually this is what Tommie wrote. But I like my version better.

Tommie: you are gay
Tommie: no really you are
Tommie: i just wanted to tell you that
Tommie: but hey let me tell you why you are gay
Tommie: because..... your name is adam conner
Tommie: that name is synonymous with "homosexual
Tommie: second... you are asian and asians are known to have homosexuals
Tommie: like caucasian, native americans, and hispanics... but that is just a technicallity
Tommie: and finally you are gay because.... well you are adam conner
Tommie: the very essence of adam conner bleeds flamboyancy and interior decoration along with a limp wrist and last but not least..... you give off the essence of Richard Simmons

Kyle: Dude
Kyle: I went clubbing last night in Seattle
Kyle: ...and Sir-Mix-Alot (a Seattle native) was there, and he hosted an ass shaking contest for the ladies
-Kyle F. on his clubbing experience in Seattle that simply defies words. For the records I know all of the words to "Baby Got Back."

Adam: "scientists have released a report that says that masturabation is actually good for your health and helps to lessen the risk of prostate cancer in men later in life. Leave comments."
Chris: "no, mom, i'm not masturbating! i'm simply ensuring that i have a healthy latter portion of my life. you know, it's just like when you take your crazy vitamins and calcium supplements. my method is just a lot more fun....."
-Chris Watson showing that trademark badass Watson humor. Good one C-W Dawg!

"your humor is fabulous"
-one of my FDD fellows commenting on my obvious humorous prowess. and how right she was.

"Sorry but I can't really help you with your fantasy of an entire country of beautiful girls who find asian people unbearably hot."
-Hana Binder shooting down my hope that Israel would be some sort of paradise where all the women would have uncontrolable asian fetishes. i'm talking like i step off the plane and get jumped. BUT NO. Gee thanks for shattering my dreams Hana. :(

Leah: "Why would she be attracted to you?"
Adam: "My obvious physical prowess."
Leah: "YOUR OBVIOUS PHYSICAL PROWESS?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??! HA HA HA HA HA HA"
Adam: "You can stop laughing now."
Leah: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH HA HA HA"
Adam: "Seriously stop laughing."
-Leah Fulton mocking Adam on his obvious physical prowess. I mean MY OBVIOUSY PHYSICAL PROWESS. Stop laughing.

"Banker: Chris today we're going to teach you how to open swiss bank accounts."
"Chris: This is the happiest moment of my life."
-Adam telling Chris Miller what I envisioned his future best moment to be. *Note earlier chris/kelly/adam accounts of arms smuggling.

-Below is Brian McMath's account of his encounter with strippers and paintball guns.

Before I outline what happened to me on the morning of Friday, July 25th, I must warn you all. What follows is a tale of such incredible stupidity and shortsightedness that some of you may wish to reevaluate your association with me. For those of you I'm related to, sorry, you don't have a choice. With that said, here goes.

One of the local news channels ran a story last week about a brothel in Las Vegas, Nevada that allows patrons to hunt the prostitute of their choice with a paintball gun before engaging in intercourse. The prostitutes get $2500 if they are not hit, and $1000 if they are hit (incentive to run faster). Well, the head of programming for Clear Channel Albuquerque thought it was such an asinine idea that he wanted 94 Rock to do something to make fun of the idea. We would do the reverse: they would find some sucker volunteer (spelt B-R-I-A-N) to be hunted by strippers with paintball guns. I was allowed only a jockstrap, a pair of boxers that had been shredded to resemble a hula skirt, a pair of shoes, and a facemask. The three strippers (who were not even REMOTELY attractive, in case anyone was wondering) were each armed with an industrial strength paintball gun, 200 paintballs, shirts, shorts, and facemasks. My goal would be to capture a flag that had been hidden somewhere on the absurdely small paintball course (an open dirt field with culverts to hide behind) and the stripper that hit me the most would be given $100. We had requested that the guns be powered down, only to learn later that "powered down" is a VERY relative term. No time limit was established, and no proximity rule was given to the hunters. Anyway, the "go" signal was given, I took off running across the course with strippers in hot pursuit. Not even 30 seconds later, I was curled in a ball on the ground, screaming for them to stop and bleeding from nearly 50 open welts from the back of my right ear to my shins. Prior to me walking out onto the field, the crowd that had gathered to watch had been yelling obnoxiously about how they wanted the girls to kick my ass. As I was helped off the field by my dad and my boss, no one said a word. The young punks that ran the paintball field, who had been previously calling me a wuss for wanting the guns turned down, didn't say a word. My dad, who had said a few days before that he wouldn't miss it for the world, looked ready to kill someone. Photos should be up soon on the www.94rock.com photos page, and my friend Jason got a video of the whole thing.

Physically I'm fine now...a bit sore but fine. From now on the Morning show will have to get someone else to participate in their little games, because I won't be saying yes for quite some time. If you feel your IQ has dropped several points just by reading this, I don't blame you. I learned my lesson, as did my employers, so no one here will ever have to go through something like that again. Anyways, that's my work update. Please do not hesistate to tell me how stupid I was to agree to this...maybe that will help me remember to say no next time. Hope everyone is doing well, and I want to hear from you all soon.

2003-05-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

So yes postings to Quotes of the Day have slowed, I will admit it. But this is because I'm stuck in crappy Dallas, TX and my social contact with the world has dropped to zero. Nearly all of these conversations were carried out online, as it is my sole form of social interaction remaining. But enjoy these quotes and maybe more will appear someday.

G: Who is your celebrity fantasy?
Adam: Jennifer Garner in the Princess Leia outfit.
Adam: hmm i might have said that a little fast
G: the cinnamon buns? And the white dress?
-Golritz "G" Ahmed and I discussing our celebrity fantasies. I might have put a little more thought into it then I like to admit. But it's hot, you have to admit. By the way Jennifer Gardner is the star of ABC's hit TV show "Alias."

"Right... so what's your celebrity fantasy? Mine is Justin Timberlake post N’Sync or Jeremy Shockey, my friend Adam, has the most interesting one - Jennifer Garner dressed as Princess Leia, what's yours?"
-Golritz "G" Ahmed's away message advertising my dirty little fantasies for all on her buddy list to read.

Adam: woo to the hooo
Erica: oh wow you are a loser
Erica: Adam: woo to the hooo
-Erica Finkle slamming me. You know what the problem is? I be a player, and she be a PLAYER HATER. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Word. G-Unit.

Adam: I like to think of myself as a kind of pioneer
Chris: Pioneer of what exactly? Caucasian Asian slang?
Adam: Boo to the yizzah.
Chris: Oh lord...
-Chris Watson unable to keep up the with my quick witted and ever evolving language skills.

Ed: Go skateboarding and meet friendly people
Ed: You cannot take social ostracism lying down Adam.
Ed: You must have "social ambition." I put that in quotes because I coined the term and love it and use it.
Ed: Be proactive.
Ed: Then again I can't really talk as I never go to Newport because I have no friends there and am too lazy to make them, but you have a different situation.
-Ed trying really hard to cheer me up as I tell him that DALLAS SUCKS. Yeah that's right Texans you read it right, DALLAS SUCKS.

Caitlin: Yet you weigh practically nothing
Caitlin: I hate you
Caitlin: jk
Adam: And yet the masses spend eternity wishing they looked as good as you
Caitlin: That's sweet
Caitlin: The masses?
Adam: You know, the rest of the world
Caitlin: I know, but guys included?
Caitlin: That's kind of odd
Adam: ....JUST TAKE THE DAMN COMPLIMENT
Adam: geeez
-Caitlin Harvey proving her difficulty in taking a damn compliment. Geez I was being a pretty charming guy and BAM. Sigh. Shake head. Whatever.

Adam: I’m going to miss the banquet.
Caitlin: Grrrr
Adam: I already told people
Caitlin: ok
Adam: but im glad my absence elicts a "grr"
Caitlin: Yes, I couldn't bear to be apart from you
-Caitlin Harvey saying, and I quote, "Yes, I couldn't bear to be apart from you." SHE SAID IT! WO-HOO!

"and now an essay on procrastination, it is both my forte and my personal asmodeus. It haunts my every move, with its father laziness, destroys every aspect of my life, when this force is combined with that of demon rum it reaches exponential proportions of slackerdom such that hath not been seen on this earth since the mighty three toes sloth ruled the Paleozoic era."
-Ed, taking the soapbox and saying, well, I don't quite know.

"Making love to unhappy cat."
-Away Message Adam put up for a couple of hours on a whim, but to be clear, NO I WAS NOT ACTUALLY MAKING LOVE TO A CAT. Plus you couldn't prove it if you wanted too. Ha! And it's not like it's a sin...wait damn.

The response's to Adam's away message.

Kelly: sex with animals??
Eric: whoa thats fucked up dood
Andrea: You're making love to a cat? If I were a cat and you were making love to me, I’d be unhappy too.
Hanna: that's kinda gross
Steph: ohhh...sounds dirty. have fun
Andy: well its not going to be any happier if you are making love to it
Will: i dont wanna know
-Thanks to Kelly Shea, Eric Tegtmeier, Andrea Nurko, Hanna, Steph Kluka, Andy Giesler, and Will for their stunningly insightful input into that one.

"ummmm so yeah....this is adam conner's story: adamconner7: my friend got male enhancing cream applied to him by a naked porn star broadcast live on radio while his dad was on the phone. (I figured if I had to hear it, you should too.)"
-Kate's away message. Intrigued about THAT story? Read below.

What follows is a transcript that I recieved from my former neighbor Brian McMath, former intern for the 94 rock FM radio station and current employee. Read on. Trust me you'll enjoy.

Subject: "the best day of my short life EVER"

Yesterday, Thursday, May 22nd, and approximately 8 a.m., history was made at the 94 Rock Morning Show. Here's how it went down:

4:30 a.m.: Go into the 94 Rock studio to check the schedule for the Morning Show to see if it's worth sticking around for.

4:31 a.m.: Realize that adult film star Jessica Drake, star of over 250 films, will be in the studio at about 8 a.m. Decide to stick around for the Morning Show instead of going home and sleeping, for obvious reasons.

7:43 a.m.: Jessica Drake appears at the side entrance to the building. With her is Gene (last name not important), owner of several adult-themed boutiques in Albuquerque. Let them in. Notice Gene is carrying large box of assorted creams, ointments, toys, etc.

8:02 a.m.: While sitting in the 94 Rock studio during a commercial break, hear TJ say, "Erica, Jessica, come here for a minute. Bri, STAY HERE." Feel cold, sinking feeling in pit of stomach.

8:04 a.m.: Three conspirators return to studio as if all is well. Jessica removes her top.

8:05 a.m.: TJ announces on the air that not only will Bri the Former Intern (me) be trying out some of the male-stamina-increasing creams in Gene's box, but that adult film star Jessica will be applying the cream. Nearly hit head on corner of counter en route to the floor.

8:06 a.m: Regain consciousness. Notice that Jessica still has her top off.

8:10 a.m.: Get idea to call my father on the air while this is going on. Give TJ father's work number. Call father and request he stay near his phone for the next few minutes. Father has no idea why, but agrees.

8:14 a.m.: TJ calls my father live on the air and outlines situation to him. Father nearly has laughter-induced anneurism. Ensures me that I have his support all the way.

8:15 a.m.: Given the choice between the spray and the cream, choose cream, for obvious reasons.

8:16 a.m.: Adult film star Jessica Drake rubs male-stamina-increasing cream on my....well...you know....in front of an audience of approximately 8 people, not to mention the thousands listening to their radios at that moment. Rubbing lasts approximately 10 seconds. Stricken with extreme case of stage fright, for obvious reasons. Pull pants back up, face the same color as a newborn baby's spanked butt.

8:17 a.m.: After father nearly has another laughter-induced anneurism, tells me on the air that he's jealous, then must go back to work. Realize that male-stamina-increasing cream is really nothing but very expensive Bengay. Become increasingly uncomfortable due to tingling sensation.

8:18 a.m.: En route to bathroom to wash hands, I am ostracized/made fun of/given thumbs up by everyone I pass on the way. This is to become a common theme for the morning.

8:20 a.m.: After taking pictures with adult film star Jessica Drake, both clothed and non-clothed, see Jessica and Gene out.

8:21 a.m.: Am assured by TJ that my ordeal was probably the funniest stunt pulled on the show in at least ten years.

8:22 a.m. - the time of my death: Not important, as I will never be able to top this. Ever.

Everything I have typed above is completely true and correct, and I have the recording to prove it. This recording will be posted to a website for all to download and enjoy if you so desire. Pictures will soon be available in the Photos section of the www.94rock.com website, probably right next to photos of me dressed as a geisha girl. Anyways, I will alert you all when the recording and photos are available, since I'm sure most of you don't believe me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go outside and scream "I love my job" at the top of my lungs until I lose my voice.
-Brian McMath retelling a story so great that it will go down in history. For shizzle. I join with all here at the Quotes of the Day page in applauding you and your contributions to humanity Brian. I'm so damn proud.

2003-04-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

Adam: i'm bored
Alex: get naked
Alex: solves boredom
-Alex P. on the most obvious solution to boredom. I am a supporter.

Kyle: Nope, nope...
Kyle: I won't be done for a long ass tizzle
Adam: dude you only used "izzle" once in that sentance
Kyle: I knizow
Kyle: "izzle" is mizore of an "in-fix"
Adam: "in" fix?
Kyle: Yeah
Kyle: You know
Kyle: There are prefixesizzles
Kyle: Suffixizzles
Kyle: and infixizzles
Kyle: Like, fucking is an infix. Like, "Massafuckingchussets," "absofuckinglutely"
Kyle: I guess izzle could be a suffix too
-Kyle F. explaing how his method of grammar works. Man I am in awe of this. I mean, Man I am in izzaw of thisizzle. I tried, I really did.

Adam: “You have too much free time.”
Chris: “You want to know why? Because you know what they teach us in the business school?”
Kyle: "How to leave work at 1:30 to go play golf?"
Chris: “Well…yeah. But they also teach us…”
Adam: (interrupting) “How to screw the little guy?”
-Kyle F. and I roughing up Chris Miller on the benefits of his business school education.

"These are some funny quotes, Check out my sad attempt to be witty. I am only on there like two times. Because Mr. Conner (Someone obviosly died and made him the all mighty quote nazi) thinks that i am not quotable... Do you know what i say to that? I say down with the quote nazi. I refuse to kneel before his fake pedistal and self appointed (and dare i say abused) power and hope for his approval on my quotes. I'll quote my own damn quotes...damn it! Anyway check the page out... some of it is actually fun and witty.
http://www.quotesoftheday.blogspot.com/"
-Tommie Begay in a completely transparent attempt to make it on the quotes page...and look he did. Huh good lesson. FLATTER ME WITTILY.

"yo know what quote nazi, i am going to get together a group of quote renegades... and we are going to overthrow your ass."
-Tommie Begay plotting my untimely quote demise. I'm shaking.

Eric: "Ass fisting... It's like spelunking for the hand"
-Eric Tegtmeier (one of my best friends for nearly how many years and I still can't remember how to spell his last name) with a quote so depraved, that I don't even know. Just wrong.

2003-04-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

An epic night. One worthy of song and praise. The maddest of props to my skating crew, Megan and Alex. Loving the times tonight as we went through ALL of Washington, D.C. Dupont, U-Street, Meridian Park, Adam’s Morgan-ish area, Embassy Row, and Georgetown. And then there was the crash I took. The hard crash. The 20mph crash down the biggest, steepest hill we could find in Georgetown. I challenged it on my longboard…and LOST. I’m not going to lie it whupped me pretty darn good. As I type this the adrenaline is still flowing but I am pretty sure my right index finger is either broken or sprained, I have some road rash on my elbow and shoulder, my left hand is all skinned up, and my jeans have an eight-inch long hole in them from the road burn. This all occurred at like 20mph. Apparently I should be dead or in the hospital, but somebody upstairs must like me (I did go to church on Sunday). So here are the quotes from the most awesome of nights. Chow. (I’m going to the ER in a few hours probably)

Note: Following a dispute with Brian McMath I would like to clarify that “Quotes of the Day” is a copyright property of Adam Conner. And patented. Booyah.
(thanks to Megan for assistance with tonight’s quotes)

Alex: “That was the best sober time I’ve had here, ever!”
Alex: “Classic in its own time!”
-Alex P. summing up why tonight, despite a fall, kicked so much ass

"How much is she worth?"
-Random man on the street peddling flowers

"This is a perfect makeout spot."
-Adam on the perfection of the hidden outdoor terrace of 11 Dupont circle

“Hey guys look, stairs! Whoa! (thump, thump, thump, thump, ow, ow, thump, bang, OW!) I’m ok!”
-Alex pointing out how not to approach stairs on rollerblades

“You might be an immature male GW student if you snicker and laugh when you find out Dupont circle is named after a Rear Admiral.”
-Adam on why I am ever so mature

“If you’ve ever had to pull out a map of D.C. to find out where you went skating that night, you might be a GW student.”
-Adam on getting lost in D.C. Wait I mean “exploring” D.C.

"The Norwegian Embassy’s door is wide open! Lets go in!"
–Adam upon noticing the door the Norwegian Embassy was open.

“No.”
-Megan’s answer to my wanting to go in. Probably a good call in retrospect.

“That was like the beginning to every bad horror movie I’ve ever seen.”
-Adam commenting on the door being open to the Norwegian Embassy

“BRICKS! SHIT! BRICKS!”
-Alex and Megan as they transitioned from pavement to bricks on a nice downhill in Embassy Row

"You go girl!!"
-Construction Men on Wisconsin Avenue to Megan as we flew downhill

Alex: “How long are we looking for recuperation of Mr. Conner and his digit?”
Adam: “Well my digit is going to have to take break from your mom...”
Alex: “He may be battered, he may be broken, but he is always able to whip up a your mom joke.”
Adam: “Damn straight!”
-Alex and Adam on how to deal with his broken finger

Adam: “Do you have any ice?”
Chris: “I have a bag of frozen peas.”
Adam: “Shut the fuck up dude I’m serious. I need ice for my broken finger.”
Chris: “I am serious I have a bag of frozen peas. I iced my broken ankle and foot with it.”
Adam: “Oh. OK.”
-Chris Miller on icing with a bag of peas

Adam: “I broke my finger.”
Brian: “I heard.”
Adam: “Wait you heard? Your mom was gonna keep it a secret!”
Brian: “Yeah, she's a talkative one.”
Brian: “Geez, it only took you, what, 36 seconds to launch into your mama material?
-Adam Conner and Brian McMath on my silvered tongued wit. (His mom loves the silver tounge…)

“Sorry it had to take a slight toll on ya. That was a macho spill though.”
-Alex on my fall. BOOYAH.

2003-04-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION! QUOTES OF THE DAY IS BACK UP AND ONLINE! AS IS ITS OWNER, EDITOR, PRODUCER, MANAGER, DICTATOR FOR LIFE, COOK, AND BOTTLE BOY...ADAM CONNER! BOO-YAH! The end of the year is fast approaching and with things starting to wind down I can only hope our quotes wind up. Because this summer may be a long dry strech. So let's start us off and keep working the way we do. Lets go troops!

Adam "Skippy" Conner

Travis: "grrr."
Adam: "what?"
Travis: "Lesbain girl broke it off with me!"
Adam: "Gee theres a surprise."
Travis: "Her lover was getting jealous."
-Travis Zander on a having his foolproof plan of dating a lesbian go wrong. Huh. Suprise.

Ed: "I had a thought, my second wife is probably not even born yet."
Adam: HA HA HA HA
Adam: "That's so fucking wrong dude."
-Ed Stoutberg planning early for his trophy wife

Lucrece: "So i faked an orgasm on a stage in front of an audience to win concert tickets and a hot Chilean!"
Lucrece: "A real fake one."
Adam: "Don't even know how to approach that one."
-Lucrece Borrego on...on...well whatever the hell it is she does with all her free time.

2003-04-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

So my laptop is busted, I've had a pretty crappy last week or some (though with some definite highlights) but now its time to get over this shit and start updating the quotes page again. Tell you what I'll make you a deal, I'll update this if you all start being more quoteable.

Adam

*Just two to start us off with now

Amy: lord love a duck
Amy: lol
Amy: i'll watch out for you dear
-Amy Shuart letting me know she'll act as my wingman and back me up when I need it. Much appreciated.

Matt: i met this girl this weekend...very pretty...20 years old...and so i got her number and name, but i wrote it one a dollar bill
Matt: then i was walkin home and saw Manouch...and bought a pretzel
Matt: and well...yeah...i used that dollar with her name and number on it
-Matt E. on his dating prowess

2003-03-24T15:00:00.000-08:00

Testing...this is a test to see if the website is working.

2003-03-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

Guess who’s back? Back again? Adam's back...tell a friend. Adam's back, Adam's back, Adam's back...
That's right kids I'm back from spring break in fine form having survived all that Mexico threw at me...and then some. So here they are, the may requested and HIGHLY anticipated, SPRING BREAK QUOTES! BOOYAH! ENJOY!

Disclaimer:
The following quotes in no way implicate any of the following parties, and specifically Adam, to any wrong doing over the course of the 12 day odyssey that was spring break. Enjoy. Yes there’s a lot of quotes, but I live that kind of life. Indeed I had no idea there would be this many quotes, BUT I BESEECH YOU TO READ THEM ALL! ENJOY!

"Would it be a completely stupid question to have to go up to someone in an airport and ask them what city and state we're in?"
-Adam Conner upon the beginning of his uneasiness that something about the airport he and Chris Miller were in wasn't right.

Chris: "Excuse what city and state are we in?"
Stranger in airport: "Louisville, Kentucky."
Adam: "Shit. Chris where are we supposed to be?"
Chris: "St. Louis, Missouri."
Adam: "This isn't St. Louis, Missouri is it?"
Stranger in Airport: "No."
Adam: "Fuck."
-Chris Miller asking a question that seems retarded...until you discover you're not in the city or state you're SUPPOSED to be in.

"Will the passengers who accidently got off of Southwest Flight 1000 here in LOUISVILLE, please return to the plane so it can continue on to ST. LOUIS."
-The Louisville Airport Intercom system that declared we were idiots.

Adam to Waitress: "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's from the East."
Chris: "We have mexican food in the East. Taco bell and stuff..."
Waitress: "Yeah you have no idea. You’re clueless."
-Adam Conner and Chris Miller indulging in authentic by the border Mexican food.

"Wow I never thought I'd say this...but Chris is the whitest person in Nogales."
-Will, a Nogales Resident, current student at Northern Arizona University, and exceedingly WHITE, pointing out that Chris (black) in the company of Travis (white and wearing a sombrero) and Adam (asian and wearing aviator sunglasses) was the whitest among our traveling group. HA HA. Will said Chris walked like he was from New York and Chris was welling a suitcase down the dirt street of Nogales (US and Mexico side).

Travis: "Donde estas?"
Mexican dude: "No ingles. No habla ingles. No speaka english."
Chris: "Donde estas?"
Mexican dude: "Si! Guyamas!"
-Travis Zander, Mexican Dude, and Chris Miller demonstrating that Travis' spanish is SO bad that Mexicans don't understand it in the least

Taxi Driver: "Spring break?"
Adam, Chris, and Travis: "Si."
Taxi Driver: "You lika the girls?"
Adam, Chris, and Travis: "Si."
Taxi Driver: "Ahh...fucky fucky much!"
-Crazy ass Taxi Driver on our way to San Carlos (a 10km drive took him an hour cause he got lost)

Mexican Guy: "Do you speak Spanish? Habla espanol?"
Chris: "I speak a little. Pico."
(Massive and uproarious laughter from the assembled crowd of Mexicans)
Mexican Guy: (laughing really hard) Pico...pico means FUCK! You meant poco...little!
Chris: OH! POCO! POCO!
-Chris Miller truly expressing how little Spanish he speaks

“You three are gringos!”
-Mexican Guy on Travis, Chris, and I

“Travis how do you order 2 dos equias?”
“Waiter! Dos Dos Equias!”
“Si!”
“Dude I was kidding.”
-This will really only be funny to kids from the Southwest who grew up with the Dos Equias commercial that asked “how do you order 2 dos equias?” The answer was of course “dos dos equias.” Travis on the other hand decided to ACTUALLY order 2 dos equias. Oh well.

“I’M RICH BIO-TCH!”
-Chris Miller while clutching his first legally purchased case of Corona

“I’ve realized there’s no language barrier that can’t be overcome with enough beer.”
-Chris Miller following our amazing communication skills with a Mexican Bachelor party the night before

“Is ‘Mexican-stripper’ two words or is it hyphenated?”
-Adam following a wild Mexican Bachelor Party we crashed

“OK Adam this is the secret signal for ‘This is a dirty Mexican whore you shouldn’t sleep with. Tap me on the shoulder and say ‘This is a dirty Mexican whore you shouldn’t sleep with.’ OK, Got it?”
-Travis Zander on the ever so subtle ways I was supposed to keep him out of trouble

Adam: “Damn this cover band is really bad.”
Travis: “Tell me about it.”
Adam: “I mean this is like the European Football League of Cover Bands bad.”
-Adam commenting on how bad the band was (that Chris was soon to meet up close and personal)

“Back off mother-fucker!”
-Words delivered by Adam as he decked a drunken ASU frat boy who was BEATING our friend Sarah in the face, as in punching her repeatedly in the face. That is clearly 100% unacceptable and had to be remedied by a right cross by Adam, which took him the fuck down. Wasn’t really a good quote but wanted to brag about how I’m a badass chivalrous night who saves damsels in distress.

(Following our Mexican Bar Fight)
Travis: “DO YOU HAVE HIM?!?! HOLD HIM BACK! DON’T LET HIM GET IN ANOTHER FIGHT!”
Adam: “Yeah I’ve got him!”
(Travis leaves aftermath of bar fight and walks over to attractive blonde girl)
Travis: “Sorry about that, little distraction. I’m sorry in the fight I seem to have forgotten your name.”
Girl: “Your loss isn’t it?”
Travis: “Damn.”
Adam: (screaming) “You’re leaving the fight to hit on a girl?!?!”
-Travis Zander prioritizing during our Mexican Bar fight experience

(Mexican Federale and Policia ‘cops’ approach Adam and Company as we’re leaving the bar following the fight)
Federale: Alto!
Adam: Hola senior!
Federale: Alto! Uno momento. (Translation: Stop. One moment.)
Adam: Si. (yes)
Federale: Problemo? (not really the Spanish word for it but whatever you get the gist)
Adam: “No problemo senior. No problemo. Mis amigos y yo leaving.
(in background 4 people are putting a bloody struggling friend in the car)
Background noise: “I’m going to fucking kill you all!”
“Get in the fucking car!”
“I’m gonna kill you all!”
Adam to federale: (Puts on big smile) “Uh no problema. Mi es un SOBER. No alcohole. Mi ok to drive (makes driving motion with hands). Mis amigos no problema.”
Background noise: “KILL YOU ALL!”
(sound of a bitch slap)
“Get in the fucking car!”
(someone grabs someone else’s throat)
Adam to federale: (Smile grows sheepish) “No problema?”
(at this point the federale pulls handcuffs and a baton and moves me out of the way)
-Adam and company following chaos of bar fight

Adam to Federale: “Here you go our ‘clean-up fee.’” (our bribe)
Federale: (looks at 200 pesos I handed him and come out with two condoms that one of my friends had accidentally included in the bribe): Como?
Adam: “Spring break?” (return of sheepish grin)
Federale: “Ahh muy bien! (big smile)
-Adam’s awkward moment as I was bribing our way out of trouble

“So I guess the question is…is ‘Mexican Bar Fight’ three words or is it hyphenated?”
-Adam’s pondering on our bar fight experience

Chris: “Yeah I got up close and personal with the band.”
Adam: “What do you mean?”
Chris: “I got, you know, thrown into the band during the fight.”
-Chris on how he got to meet the band during our Mexican Bar fight

“Adam you’re my hero, forever!”
-Sarah’s response to me decking the guy who was beating her. Yeah I rule.

Travis: “Yeah I’ve accidentally lit my crotch on fire like three times. Well the crotch area of my pants.”
Chris: “Wow you give a whole new meaning to the term ‘fire-crotch.’”
-Chris Miller making fun of Travis’ misfortunes with fire and his crotch

Adam: “Yeah I’m a snowboarder.”
Travis: “I backpack, rock climb, mountain bike, hike, ski, and snowboard.”
Chris: “Yeah I keep my black ass on the ground.”
-Adam, Travis, and Chris expressing our varying degrees of athleticism

“Dos forties!”
-Travis Zander ordering 40 oz Corona’s at the liquor store. For the record DOS is Spanish and FORTIES is English. But the guy knew what he was talking about.

“We’ll trade you our (Canadian) Prime Minister for your President?”
-Old Canadians who we met and had a lovely amount of discussion with on such issues as politics and investment…and they kept buying us rounds. Sweet. My outlook of Canada has improved 10 fold because of that encountered.

“I’m not sick…I’m just digesting oddly.”
-Adam as he hung over the toilet after ingesting bad seafood

“I told you NEVER ORDER SEAFOOD FROM A NON-SEAFOOD RESTRAUNT!”
-Chris Miller lecturing Adam on seafood rules

Kat: “Wasn’t the fact that the lobster was GREEN AND BLACK a tip-off that it was bad?”
Travis: “Eh we’re from New Mexico, what do we know about seafood?”
-Travis responding on why we ate the Green and Black lobster

“Most girls suck. My advice…find one that doesn’t.”
-Matt’s profound advice on girls. And NO he didn’t mean it literally.

Travis: “Grass on the field? Play ball!”
Chris: “Or if you don’t like playing ball turn over and play in the mud.”
-Travis and Chris on an insanely dirty comment. Figure it out for yourself (hint it has to do with underage girls, something Adam does not partake in)

“Fucking Federales!”
-Travis Zander following his 5th run in with Mexican Law-Enforcement

“Wow BBC news is calm, fair, balanced, accurate and interesting. Shit I can’t handle this for too long…let’s turn on Fox News!”
-Adam commenting on how superior British news is

“Holy shit! They’ve redeployed Geraldo to Afghanistan! Yes! YES!”
-Adam’s joy on discovering Geraldo was back in the thick of things. FUCK YEAH!

“I can only hope and pray for the day when the Geraldo Riveria special edition live from the front lines DVD is released. That will be a great day.”
-Adam waiting for what will be the best DVD EVER.

Adam: “Guys, quiet they’re making an announcement.”
CNN: “We’re receiving word…(crackle)…that the USS Abraham Lincoln has stopped flying missions over Iraq in support of Operation Southern Watch…(static)…missions are now being flown in support of…(pause)…Operation Iraqi Freedom.”
Adam: “Wow Rumsfeld really went out on a creative limb naming that one.”
-Adam commenting on the sheer originality of the new war title. Sheesh, we could have at gone with Gulf War II or something like that.

Adam: “Donde estas el estado unidos?” (Where is the United States)
Mexican Woman: “Norte.” (North)
-Adam’s useful asking for directions

“WHITE AMERICANS SUCK MAN!”
-A Mexican screamed that to us as we were preparing to walk across the border. Seeing as how I’m Asian, Chris is black, I’m pretty sure they were talking to Travis, white and wearing a bigass sombrero.

Chris: “It’s so weird here in Nogales, it’s not like I’m in America.”
Will: “You’re not. Welcome to occupied Mexico.”
-Will on what is so true, the west is pretty much all occupied Mexico

Border patrol: “You American citizens?”
Travis, Chris, Adam, and Will: “Yes.”
Border patrol: “You boys carrying any dope?”
Travis, Chris, Adam, and Will: “Nope.”
Border Patrol: “OK go on through.”
-Passing through what had to be the most stringent immigrant checkpoint EVER 30 miles outside of Nogales. Seriously we could have been packing 30 illegals, 500 kilos of blow, and nuclear explosives and no one would be the wiser. Their drug dog was definitely asleep in the shade.

“Yay! You’re alive!”
-Jodi Barrett’s comments upon my return to GW

Kelly: “Hey! You’re back! I figured you were stranded in Mexico.”
Adam: “Why?”
Kelly: “Well it really did seem like something that you would do.”
Adam: “Thanks.”
-Kelly Shea’s reaction to Adam’s return.

And comments from other people’s Spring Break.

”During my two hour layover in the North Carolina Airport, I saw 5 Starbucks. Seeing as how I only saw 2 of the airport’s 5 terminals and being from the greater Seattle Area I believe I have the authority to say that is extremely fucked up.”
-Kyle F. on the fucked up capitalist expansion of Starbucks

DONE! 6 pages! Thanks for hanging in there!

2003-03-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

VIVA MEXICO! That's right my fellow devoted readers I'm soon hopping on a jet plane to MEXICO! Well not quite I'm going to Arizona for two days then a sketchy bus service to San Carlos, Mexico. A place none of you have ever heard of, a place I'VE never heard of. But lets hope that a week on the beach is all I need to relax myself. With the impending war there may be difficulties being located in a foreign nation during the war...that combined with my penchant to get into trouble could very well add up too badness. So if you get a call from me asking you to wire me money to get out of a Mexican jail, or if you're one of my friends from the Southwest to come down and physically get me out, then have a heart. Have a great spring break everyone and I'll see you back in 10 days where I'm sure I'll have lots of stories to share.

Adam "Skippy" Conner

"Gone Fishing."
-Written on the door of HOVA #224

2003-03-10T19:34:00.000-08:00

Yes I have been slacking on the quotes page and I’m sorry. I won’t let I happen again. That said lets move out to the quotes, including the greatest quote ever (drumroll) and mad quotes from my weekend with the Capital District Circle K.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
In the grand tradition of so much that we hold here at the “Quotes of the Day” page, there are so many moments to treasure. But every once in a while there dawns a day with a quote so amazing, so groundbreaking, that we have to pause in awe of it. What follows is such a quote, one that pushes the bounds of greatness and sets the bar so much higher for all who follow. In response to an away message editor-in-chief Adam Conner left the following away message. “Bad day…grumpy…here’s your cue to leave words of encouragement.” The following response was waiting for him upon his return home.

“Adam Conner is the greatest person who ever lived. He is an intellectually stimulating woman magnet who highlights any party or social gathering with his hilarious wit and satiricial quips. Adam Conner should be praised for contributing to the world so much more than the average human being. A genius in his own right, it is safe to say that Adam will someday be making millions doing whatever he wants, be it speechwriting, running the country, or copycatting one of the world's other great minds, Aaron Sorkin. Thank you Adam for adding light to all of our lives, and not just any light. Yours is not some weak 20 watt bulb of light that shines on us all. You're fluorescent baby.”

Ladies and Gentlemen the “Quotes of the Day” page is proud to recognize ERICA FINKLE for outstanding achievement in the field of quote excellence. As her reward for cheering Mr. Conner up on a such a crappy day she will be treated to a dinner out or something equivalent. (And you thought I was kidding when I said that Erica). Now the bar has been set high, good luck in all of you for clearing it. Who knows there could be other awards in the near future.

Erica: “listen "mr. i'm so important".... let's not be insulting the cute ass picuters of me, alright.... i can take a little sarcasm, i understand the anger at no longer being cool enough to be in my profile.... but there's no reason to insult the pictures.... lets not mess w/ erica's superficiality, it's one of the only things she's got left.... that and speaking in the third person.”
-Erica Finkle after a snide comment I made about her removing the link to this page from her AIM profile

“YOU LOSE!”
-Julia Kramer on our phrase of the day at District Convention

“Can’t you go anywhere without making an ass of yourself?”
-Caitlin Harvey on why she pretends not to know me in public

“I hereby propose a motion to create an award in honor of Julia’s boobs. The award is to be entitled the ‘Julia Helen Kramer Boobylicious Award’ and to be given to the one who best exemplifies the qualities set forth by the aforementioned boobs. The award recipient will be selected by a committee to be established at a later date and based on criterion hereon unspecified but to be determined by said committee. All in favor?”
-Adam Conner proposing a revolutionary award in the tradition of the greatest of all awards, “The Southwest District Key Club Adam D. Conner Badass of the Year Award.” BOO-YAH!

Jen: “I’m Jen from the Bronx! I learned to dance in Philly and am like a white J-Lo! I want an award too!”
Adam: “OK but its going to involve the word ‘bootylicious.’”
-Jen describing her characteristics worthy of an award

“I hereby introduce a motion to prompt discussion and decision on the next motion to be introduced.”
“I fucking hate parliamentary procedure.”
“You’re out of line!”
-Resolution during CDCKISS meeting (know what initials mean?

“Don’t listen to Adam! He’s a democrat! Don’t let his liberal views corrupt you!”
-Amy warning the VA Tech kids on why I’m the kind of kid your moms warned you about

Conservatives: “We’re conservatives.”
Adam: “Want me to kick some homeless people or take money away from poor single mothers so I can fit in?”
-Adam with some classic liberal wit

2003-03-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

"America is a supporter of democracy. That was real profound there George."
-Ryan McGlone's quip during the Bush press conference last night. Quick note, Helen Thomas is really pissed she got snubbed by Bush last night, calling Bush "The worst president in American history." Sweet.

2003-03-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

"there's nothin like goin commando and then realizing that your jammies have a strategically placed hole, whoops"
-Ed Stautberg on something thats just damn funny

Chris: "When we go to Mexico for Spring Break I'm joining a drug cartel and coming back a kingpin!"
Adam: "Chris you do realize that they, you know, glamourize the drug kingpin business on TV? It's not actually like the TV show "Kingpin."
-Chris Miller and Adam Conner on drug kingpin disillusions

Yoni: "Hey I heard the frat party you were at got busted by MPD and UPD."
Adam: "Yeah but we made it out ok."
Yoni: "Did you stick around to see what happened."
(pause)
(Adam and Chris look at each other)
Adam: "No why in God's name would we do that? They were BUSTING the party."
Yoni: "Well sometimes they're cool and let you watch."
Chris: "Yeah and the rest of the time they throw your ass handcuffed into the back of a cop car."
Yoni:"I'm just saying it could be fun to watch."
Chris: "What the fuck is wrong with you? You stay your ass there and watch, we'll be running our asses away and not going to jail."
-Chris and Adam debunking Yoni's genuis theory about what to do when cops are busting up parties. DON'T TAKE THAT ADVICE!

2003-03-02T22:17:00.000-08:00

Wow. I have gotten a whole lot of static for not updating the "Quotes of the Day" page in a while. It wasn't that I was too busy or anything, its just that, well quotes have been harder to come by as of late. I mean maybe we've been spoiled by the proliferation of quotes as of late and its time that we understand it can't always be bullish when it comes to quotes, sometimes the bear rears it ugly head. But we hunker down, get a little wittier, and make the best of it. Consider this your rallying speech troops, I'm Knute Fucking Rockney! Now get in the game!

Coach Adam “Skippy” Conner

"Adam im dddddddddddddddddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-Kelly Shea drunk iming

Chris: "Man I owned your quotes page last night!"
Adam: "You did?"
Chris: "Damn straight I was so fucking quoteable last night."
Adam: "Chris I hate to break this to you but 'I'm so drunk!' and 'I'm so fucking wasted' really aren't all that original."
Chris: "Fuck."
-Chris Miller being broken the awful truth by Adam Conner about his drunken dialouge

"I am a tool. Jodi and Lorena are the hottest girls at GW I want them so bad. Alas, they are too cool for me and I will never successfuly lure them into my pants."
-Jodi Barrett and Lorena Seitz having changed Adam's away message from "at the library" to the above

"oh god so i went to starbucks and order a mocha and one of those doubleshots only the lady was a little less then up on her english compreshension and i ended up drinking my double shot and then my mocha...and realizing she had put 3 shots of expresso in the mocha meaning i ingested 5 shots of expresso i a very short amount of time and now im FUCKING WIRED."
-Adam Conner on how to get fucked up very fast

some woman: "so why are you out running in the cold in shorts in front of the white house?"
Adam: "I accidently ingested 5 shots of expresso and am a little wired and am on this run to burn off the energy."
some woman: "oh...well im a little messed up on 5 shots of something else...but shhhh....don't tell the Secret Service."
-Drunk woman and Adam conversing in front of the White House with the Secret Service

Eric: "i just finished my community service today"
Eric: "it was funny because i was doing it at a Christian-run homeless shelter and before i left, the manager, who i had never talked to while I was there basically tried to convert me or something..."
Eric: "it was focked up"
Eric: "He’s not a very good Christian though, especially because half the time he was making fun of Buddhists, and Hindus"
Eric: "oh he indirectly threatened me of eternal damnation"
-Eric Tegtmeier on...well I don't really know what it is

2003-02-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

Auto response from Erica's IM: "adam made me do this: http://quotesoftheday.blogspot.com"
-Erica Finkle's example of the best away message ever.

"Ben Savage was my bitch."
-Mike Richmond explaining what the former star of "Boy Meets World" and current Stanford Pre-Law student did when he interned for the campaign Mike ran.

Adam: "Check out this Secret Service book I stole from their booth yesterday!"
Mike: "My cousin in the Secret Service was really famous for his actions when a guy shot at the White House during the Clinton Administration."
Adam: "Awesome! Maybe he's listed in this book for winning a medal! Let me look."
Mike: "Actually...he shot another Secret Service agent and not the guy shooting at the White House and was investigated."
Adam: "You know you could've mentioned that before I got the book out."
-Mike Richmond and Adam Conner on varying definitions of fame

"ok fine, damnit, i try so hard to be dorky i want to be unusual and not normal, but obviously i'm not good enough for that, obviously i haven't proved myself to you, guess i'll just have to surrender to being fucking cool."
-Erica Finkle on an argument that makes her look pretty good in the end

"They're like a pep rally for the radical right facists."
-A quote from political rhetoric class, don't remember what it was about

"The difference between real photography with film and digital photography and editing is like the difference between a woman wearing something that accentuates her cleavage and a breast implants."
-Adam Conner on a metaphor for digital and regular pictures

"You're sort of the Anti-Christ of everything we've read."
-Political Rhetoric class again on what I don't remember

"It's like when you see another car with a GW bumper sticker you know there's either a GW alum, student, or parent in the car. Well it's the same thing with the Confederate flag, it's a clear indication of another drunken hick."
-My political rhetoric class, yes they're all Yankees from the North but I'm no fan of the Confederate flag either. That said I love fried chicken, grits, and sweet tea!

(Sign for D.C. Mayor during the election last year. "Carol...isn't it time?")
"Isn't it time...to put your FUCKING last name on your sign so we know who the hell to vote for?!"
-Rachel Nadeau on why a little common sense could go a long way in D.C.

2003-02-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

FUCK. The stupid thing erased my posting, what you're seeing below I had to fucking retype. Fucking A.

Rachel Nadeau, Elizabeth Steinfield, Chris Miller, and Tommie Begay have all added links in their AIM profiles to this webpage…shouldn’t you? I mean everybody else is doing it and you wanna be cool too don’t you? Join the bandwagon and use some shameless self promotion like “Look how witty I can be by clicking here” or something to that effect. Help a brother out.

I’ve also added the transcript of an extended conversation Chris, Kelly, and I had in December about International Arms Dealing at the bottom.

Adam “Skippy” Conner

Lorena: "Why can't you do it yourself? You're helpless."
Adam: "I am not helpless."
(Look from Lorena)
Adam: "I'm a little helpless."
(Pause)
(Adam and Lorena simultaneously)
Adam: “I’m completely helpless.”
Lorena: ”You’re totally helpless.”
-Lorena Seitz and Adam Conner on my complete, utter, and total helplessness.

“Adam your problem is that you think you need the perfect one-liner and that will get you girls as if having that perfect line is the key to getting women. It’s not.”
-Lorena Seitz on why there’s more to getting a girl then a good pick up line. Shit it’s more complex then that? Well it’s not like I had a good line anyway.

Yoni: “Adam the word on the street is that you’re the rap music expert. I mean you knew all the words to that song at the party last night…California something.”
Adam: “California love?!”
Yoni: “Yeah that’s the one. I mean everyone I’ve talked to says you’re the man to come to about rap music and hip-hop. Like that one guy…Dr. Dr.”
Adam: “You mean Dr. Dre?!”
Yoni: ”Oh yeah that’s the one, is he big in rap?”
-Yoni I don’t know where the hell you’ve been hanging out to hear that I’m a rap expert.

“I thought everyone who grew up in the 90’s automatically knew the words to ‘California Love.’”
-Chris Miller on the cultural prevalence of that song in our society

“He was different…a smile and the first words out of his mouth and you could just hear my panties hitting the floor.”
-An unnamed friend (girl) speaking about an unnamed Englishman we’ll just call Magnum. Damn chicks dig accents.

“That was a random tangent, but I’ve noticed you’re not thrown off as much as other are by them.”
-Erica Finkle on my impressive skill in adapting to random tangents. Yeah, it’s cause my life is very literally a random tangent.

Classmate: “This is kind of a random tangent.”
Professor Loge: “Don’t worry that’s pretty much what this class is about.”
-Classmate and Professor Loge on why I enjoy that class so much, Political Rhetoric in Political Communication should really just be called “Random Political Tangents 190.”

“But it makes me wonder…can your register to vote twice?”
-A classmate recalling a comment she heard from a college student while working on a campaign

“10 years ago we started ‘Rock the Vote’ and voter turnout has gone DOWN every year…that makes our work more important so we would appreciate additional monetary contributions.”
-Professor Loge describing the spiel ‘Rock the Vote’ gave to try and get MORE money despite the fact that voter turnout has gone down since it began. Now I know that statistically correlation does not equal causation, but that’s a seriously funky line of logic.

Professor Loge: “So what’s your impression of ‘Rock the Vote?’”
Adam: “Isn’t it, you know, not an election year?”
-Adam Conner on why “Rock the Vote” may not work well in 2003.

“You want to be disengaged and pissed off (at the system) then move to Cuba, they’re hiring!”
-Professor Loge pointing out that jaded youth and cynicism about the current political system is rather unfounded, it’s in our own best interests to care and we’re only screwing ourselves by being politically apathetic. It’s not a politician’s job to get you to care, in fact their jobs are a lot easier if you don’t.

Chris: “I’ll be an International Arms Dealer pimping out of yacht in the Mediterranean and have more money then I’ll know what to do with.”
Kelly: “Why the Mediterranean?”
Adam: “I don’t really think that’s the important part.”
Kelly: “I’m just wondering why you have to deal arms from the Mediterranean.”
Chris: “The yacht could move.”
Kelly: “Then why would you say the Mediterranean?”
Chris: “I don’t know, it just seemed like a place where people deal illegal arms.”
Adam: “It’s convenient; I mean you’re surrounded by land so people buying the weapons don’t have to travel too far to get to you.”
Kelly: “So you’ll be on some rusted fishing boat in the Mediterranean selling machine guns? That doesn’t sound like much fun.”
Chris: “It’ll be a big yacht. And I’ll be so high up I won’t actually have the weapons in the yacht, I’ll just arrange things for people.”
Kelly: “And you have to do that from the Mediterranean?”
Adam: “OK I think we established that the Mediterranean wasn’t really the important part. Any body of water can accommodate the yacht.”
Chris: “Exactly, I can move around the world. That’s why I’ll be an ‘International’ arms dealer.”
Kelly: “Won’t it be real obvious where you are when other people have to take boats to come see you on your boat? I mean won’t that make it easy for the authorities to find you?”
Adam: “She’s got a point. If you’re an arms dealer you’re going to have enemies. Not going to be very popular at all.”
Chris: “I’ll just have a one-person miniature escape submarine, James Bond style. And that’s why I’ll be in the Mediterranean because when I escape the yacht when one of my clients gets followed by the authorities I’m close to so many countries.”
Kelly: “Well there you go. It all makes sense now.”
-Chris Miller, Kelly Shea, and Adam Conner on an incredibly detailed conversation we had about international arms dealing back in December at the mall

2003-02-21T20:08:00.000-08:00

"You touch any of my stuff and I'll turn your pink eyes into two black eyes."
-Evan Hass on my infectious disease

"Don't you dare repeat that. You quote me on that and I'll rock your world."
-Ryan Kilpatrick on something I shouldn't tell anybody.

"We're really shaking in our boots...after we saw Ryan fall DOWN the UP escalator."
-Sam on why the girls didn't fear the boys in our snowball showdown as much as they should

2003-02-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

THE PINK EYE SPECIAL
You'll notice a lot of today's quote focus on pink eye and me. Well that's cause I woke up with pink eye this morning. So go ahead bitches, take your best shot. The best will be posted here.

Adam: "This is gonna be a thing for a while isn't it? The pink eye."
Matt: "Oh you're never living this down."
-Matt Miller adding to the great roommate comfort of the day.

And here's why this is going to be a thing for a while
"beware, if you are currently attending gwu, in hova room 224 a member has pink eye (adam conner), beware adam conner is highly contagious with pink eye. pink eye is a horrible disease that usually attacks elementary school kids, but because adam conner is special, he got pink eye. beware!!!!!!!!!!"
-Matt Miller's away message publicizing my health issues today. Thanks Matt. I'm gonna rub my eyes over you while you sleep or someting equally dastardly.

Matt: "You come near me and I'll hit you in the face!"
Adam: "HA HA! Then you'll get pink eye."
Matt: "Then I'll kick! And I kick hard! That's why I go to the gym!"
-Matt Miller expressing his fears that I will infect him.

"Wait, i didn't think it was possible to have pink eye after third grade."
-Erica Finkle trying to be funny. Seriously folks pink eye is a disease that affects all age groups. And despite what Russ may tell you it's not a fungus.

"There's disease in the air..."
"There must be pink eye in the atmosphere"
-Russel Edward Tanguay, Jr's song composed especially for me his diseased roommate. Thanks Russ. Impressive guitar skills too.

Adam: "It's easy to pick on me for having pink eye. Lets just say everyone here is handling pretty much the same way they would at home."
Jon: "Making fun of you and making really obvious jokes?"
Adam: "Painfully obvious."
-Jon "Spicy Italian" Vaccaro pointing out that everyone adapts to Adam the same where, be you from the southwest or the northeast.

Adam: "What's my name bitch?"
Russ: "CYCLOPS!"
-Russ Tanguay on my new nickname.

"Your pink eye, if that is really what it is, is definitely an excellent conversation piece. You should get it more often"
-Alex P. on the benefits of my pink eye

Adam: "So wasthing time till you have to go out tonight?"
Alex: "Basically thats the gist"
Alex: "Avoiding pink eye that looms in this dorm."
-Alex P. on the epidimic of pink eye. Seriously people it's not fucking Ebloa.

"Beware! Cyclops is a freshmen at the George Washington University and goes by the alias of Adam Conner(this is my pathetic attempt at beating Elizabeth for top quote getter on the quotes of the day page)"
-Matt Miller's away message and the epic struggle to be #1 on the quote page

Away message: "Ed your life is like an away message."
Ed's response: "It is! And then i poured fake drool on his pillow and told him it was mine from when i took a nap in his bed, and he spazzed and is washing his sheeets, and that is why thurston (his dorm) kicks hova's ass (my dorm)!"
-Ed Stautberg (spelled correctly this time) on...the state of being Ed.

2003-02-21T14:17:00.000-08:00

Ed: "I remember one time my rabbit got pink eye, and it lost all the fur from the left side of its head"
Ed: "mebbe you'll lose your eyebrow"
-Ed Stoutberg on how not to comfort someone who has just been diagnosed with pink eye

2003-02-21T14:06:00.000-08:00

"Adam - finally pulled up your website & only have one word for it - sick or I could say bad taste, maybe depraved - whatever; think I'll skip learning more of your 'quotes of the day'."
-My father Terry Conner upon viewing this website for the first time after I accidently hinted to it in an email. We've offended our first adult, wow. I chalk it up to "generational differences."

Liz: "i've counted"
Liz: "i'm at 11"
Liz: "and while most people would be satisfied with the reigning number of quotes"
Liz: "besides you of course"
Liz: "i'm not"
Liz: "i've set a new goal"
Liz: "i'm going to beat YOU"
Liz: "that's right"
Liz: "mr. quote page himself"
Liz: "i'll dare to go where no individual has gone before"
Liz: "and there's nothing you can do to stop me"
Liz: "well"
Liz: "actually"
Liz: "i suppose you could just not put me on the site"
Liz: "fuck"
Liz: "so much for that plan"
-Elizabeth Steinfield in the perfect example of how much some people can become caught up the "Quotes of the Day" page experience. But I'm crediting this one to ME and not her. HA! I WIN!

2003-02-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

"Texas: Even the New Mexican's look down on it."
-Elizabeth Steinfield summing up what we New Mexican's have been trying to articulate for years.

2003-02-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

Today "Quotes of the Day" is rolling out a new feature to headline the day's postings. Occasionally men and women who have been signifcant pillars of the "Quotes of the Day" community will be spotlighted for their vital contributations to the cause. You can thank those spotlighted for being some of the driving forces behind the creation of this website and the amusement that they bring to my life. The first highlight goes to a man whose first quote was the insipration to create this website. Lets revisit the very first "Quote of the Day."

"Chicks dig resources! Natural fucking selection! Charles Fucking Darwin! Origin of fucking species!"
-Kyle F. on why rich men get women

That's right ladies and gentleman KYLE F. from Tacoma, Washington is today's "Quote of the Day" Spotlight! Kyle is a freshman here at the George Washington University and lives down the hall from me on the second floor of the Hall on Virginia Avenue. Kyle wishes for me to mention that he is single and available, ladies please take a note. He has appeared over 5 times on the "Quotes of the Day" page, but it was that first quote that gave birth to this endeavor. I guess you could say that Kyle knocked me up and this was the result...but that makes neither of us look good now does it?

"Wy don't you just try to play the role of 'Adam Conner?' The naysaying, heretical, know-it-all, bs-ing, fat, pseudo-intellectual, Aaron Sorkin-worshipping, Skippy the Blazin Caucasian Asian Adam Conner."
-Elizabeth Steinfield with a fairly accurate descriptor of myself.

"Alright Adam I bow to your superior speech finding skills.."
-Erica Finkle with the finest form of flattery I have ever been privy to. Happy birthday Erica.

Adam: "I was snowed in and hungry last weekend."
Anna: "Did you survive on some hot booty and cup o noodles?"
-Anna Kaiper on how I WISH I had gotten through being snowed in last weekend.

Adam: "You're the kind of person that divorces his wife after 20 years of happy marriage when you find out she supports a Republican platform like school vouchers or faith based initatives, you're really quite the extreme liberal."
Kyle: "Yeah I could see myself doing that. I fucking hate Republicans."
-Kyle F. on why he will never wed himself to what he considers "THE ENEMY!"

"It really bothers me that I don't feel comfortable in your room unless I have my hand down my pants."
-Adam Conner commenting on how there appears to be some mysterious force in Kyle F. and Ryan Kilpatrick's room that forces one's hand down their pants for comfort.

2003-02-19T17:47:00.000-08:00

Chris: "I'm skipping class to watch Jenny Jones."
Adam: "Wow that's a new form of sad."
Chris: "Hey fuck you...they have blonde bomb shells on today. If it was another "Who is my Baby's Daddy?" then I would go to class."
-Chris Miller on what is an acceptable excuse for skipping class

"You know what's worse then Christian rock? Jewish Rock."
-Dan Getman on the apparent lameness of Jewish Rock

Adam: "That's because you (Pennsylvania) have the fucking almish"
Alex: "Hey they make the best butter!"
-A.P.'s defense of the Almish culture and the goods they produce

"Cause worrking in DC might be fun, but working in pretend DC has got to be the best job in the world."
-Erica Finkle on why working for Aaron Sorkin on the set of the West Wing would be the single greatest job in the world.

2003-02-18T22:16:00.000-08:00

I've set up a new email account for this homepage to take feedback and input from those of you who frequent this page. Any changes in format you want to suggest and such you can now send to quotesoftheday@hotmail.com. I'm pondering ponying up the dough to put a counter on the website, allow me to post pictures, and have a guestbook. Anyway it's a thought let me know if you enjoy this page or if this is just a waste of everyone's time. Oh and PLEASE tell all of your friends! Spread the word, bookmark this page, and check it daily dammit!

Adam "Skippy" Conner
quotesoftheday@hotmail.com

Adam: "Did you hear the rumor about me?"
Caitlin: "Which rumor? There are multiple rumors floating around about you?"
-Caitlin Harvey on the apparent abundence of rumors about yours truly. And I was KIDDING about there being a rumor about me.

"So the moral of the story is that when tripping on acid lawn gnomes and small children look a LOT alike!"
-Amanda upon retelling a story about two Duke students who were on acid and decided their dorm could use a lawn gnome, so they abducted one from someones lawn and took it back to their dorm and dressed it funny. Turns out the next morning the lawn gnome was a little boy. Whoops.

"Tomorrow, when my prof asks me why i'm falling behind I'll say it's cuz my friend Adam is a naysaying heretic."
-Elizabeth who has been trying really hard to make it back on the quotes page after a LONG absence. And look kids I don't only put quotes that make me look good.

Adam: "My question is for Mr. Carville. I'm Adam Conner from Los Alamos, New Mexico. I recently caught a sneak preview of the new movie "Old School" and was shocked to see Mr. Carville lose to Will Ferell in a debate during the movie. My question is, how could such a proud Democrat like yourself be defeated by the man who played George W. Bush for so many years on Saturday Night Live?"
Carville: "One word: MONEY!"
-James Carville responding to Adam Conner's question during the nationally televised TV show "Crossfire" which appears on CNN every night and is filmed live at the George Washington University. My guile and wit got me on the air in front of an audience of millions. Sweet.

"I don't live by the ocean I just have a beach house."
-Matt Miller in a confusing statement that we somehow came to while discussing lobster.

"If you're looking for class you're not going to find it here...we're like Jerry Springer but with longer words."
-Tucker Carlson the Republican right-wing host of CNN's Crossfire as he spoke of the caliber of viewing that the viewers could expect.

"Adam will you be my valentine? I don't need much just a flower...well a dozen flowers. And dinner...at a nice restraunt...a fancy restraunt oh and expensive. And a limo ride there and back. And maybe so jewelry...but really not much more then that...J/K!"
-Shira Lazinger on taking "Low Maintenance Girl" to a new level. Thanks for just kidding Shira, though you're clearly deserving of all of those great things.

"Riled Insanity!"
-Matt Maez's signature catch phrase to the craziness of life.

"Here's a general rule of thumb for your interaction with me. When in doubt assume sarcasm."
-Elizabeth Steinfield clearing up how to understand her.

"Hot. Wet. Naked. Shower."
-Kate Riopa showing of the single greatest away message EVER! Ladies take note, away messages like that are how to gather mucho attention from men.

2003-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

Ryan: "I'm going to rape you in the ass while you sleep!"
Kyle: "And I look forward to it."
-Ryan Kilpatrick and Kyle F. on why an open dialouge between roommates is the key to happiness. And yes they were kidding. I think.

"That's right I have an eight, nine, ten, queen, and king...FUCK!"
-Adam Conner on why he needs to heed the advice of his roommate Matt Miller and look at his cards before betting big in poker.

"Is it possible to quote pelvic thrusts?"
-Aaron Bock on Kyle F.'s repeated pelvic thrusts upon victory during poker night in HOVA #224

2003-02-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

"If I were an anti-aircraft missle, where would I be?"
-Matt Miller during our search for anti-aircraft missles around the DC area as seen on the cover of the New York Times and the Washington Post. But they were no where to be found, which makes us wonder if it was just all to give us a false sense of security.

Adam: "I need sugar for my oatmeal."
Rachel: "We're in a state of emergency here and you need sugar for your oatmeal."
-Rachel Nadeau on survival in HOVA (my residence hall) when you're snowed in and desperate for food

Adam: "Where did Liberman go to college?"
Rachel: "I don't know but I'm pretty sure that he's one of the ones that actually went."
-Rachel Nadeau and Adam Conner during aspeech to George Washington University by Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman (former Vice-Presidental Candidate 2000 and current Democratic 2004 Presidential Candidate) on Homeland Security. By the way Liberman did go to college he did his undergrad and law school at Yale. Congrats to Rachel on two apperances on the quotes page in one posting, quite an accomplishment.

2003-02-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

"I'm rounding up a posse. Booger stole all my bedding cause I put a Viagra in his beer."
-Ed Stoutberg. At first I thought this was a line from "Revenge of the Nerds" movies until I realized that Viagra didn't exist then.

Tommie: "Happy Valentines day Adam."
Tommie: "You know it's on days like this that you come to appreciate all the sarcasm in your life."
Tommie: "With that i would like to say thank you."
-Tommie Begay on why Valentine's Day (or single awareness day) is all about realizing what you don't have and what's important in life

Adam: Dude you just made the Quote of the Day page!
Tommie: "Thank you. I would like to thank my brother. For all the years of putting me down and the derogatory comments. I would like to thank my parents for doing there thing, therefore making me. And most of all I would like to thank Adam Conner, for raising the bar for all sarcastic assholes all around the world."
-Tommie Begay upon being told he had made the ultra-selective quotes of the day page

Adam,: "Hey what are you up to tonight?"
Matt: "haha we almost got arrested in front of the White House!"
-Matt E. on why going to school at GW in the heart of D.C. gives you the best stories that NO ONE can top

Ed: "I just bought a blow-up doll."
Adam: "A realisitic looking one?"
Ed: "Well a realistic looking goat."
-Ed Stoutberg on why shopping at sex novelty shops can be an enigma of decisions

"Adam you're like...George Stephanopoulos! And I would so totally do him. If you were a girl and could physically do him would you?"
-Andie the girl from my CI who I invented ultimate thurston extreme hall frisbee with. Applying for a job together. Me, her, and Ed rock the hizhouse. Poli Comm and SMPA in the hizouse!

2003-02-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

Recently the editorial staff of the "Quotes of the Day Page" has come under fire with claims of slander.
Let’s be clear right here, that the editorial staff consists solely of me, Adam D. Conner.
Yes the things that I write are biased, very biased. They are biased for a single, simple reason.
These are all quotes that I encounter in MY day.

These are my experiences and thus come tainted with the full perspective and opinions of one Adam D. Conner.
I'm sorry that no disclaimer has been posted, but I was naive enough to think that it was fairly self-explanatory.
While tonight my views were challenged and I myself was subject to various threats of physical and legal harm, my faith in the competence and intelligence of my readers is not shaken.
If nothing else it is reaffirmed.

I won’t beat the often repeated First Amendment drum, or even cite various legal decisions involving slander and the attribution of quotes such as the 1991 Malcolm versus New Yorker Magazine decision.
I will simply say that I bring you this website with the sole intent of bringing a little amusement, entertainment, and joy into your lives.
I would like to think that the overwhelmingly positive response is indicative of your enjoyment.

My original intention in the creation of this website was to archive and chronicle the amusing and off the cuff lines that find their way into my daily conversations.
But since the creation of this website I have found that people have begun to think a little more before they open their mouth, to make their thoughts a little deeper and their words a little wittier.
And that can do nothing but benefit us all.
Those of us lucky enough to have an audience to avail them to understand the responsibility they hold to their readers and I take that responsibility seriously, hard as that may be to believe.
So I’m going to get off my high horse now and continue to bring you the highlights of my day.

Thanks for reading.

Adam D. Conner

(And now the quotes)

"I think you must intimidate women. They know you're gonna be the first Asian president of the US, and it really scares them, I think."
-Brian McMath on why he thinks I don't have women throwing themselves at me. (Hey I'm clever and I can run a blogspot site, what more could you want?) Brian is the newest employee of Clear Channel Radio meaning he controls the FM airwaves in NM while most sleep. Mad props.

"Only at GW could a fairy tale with a happy ending be on that ends with a bill making it out of committee and onto the floor of the House for a vote."
-Adam Conner to Lorena Seitz following an enchanting fairy tale from Professor Sigelman in our American Political Science class

Adam: "For a 90 second ungraded speech i came up with 4 pages of materiel off the top of my head."
Lucrece: "Damn."
Lucrece: "Go Go Gadget speech writer."
-Adam Conner and Lucrece Borrego on my occasional excessiveness in speechwriting

Adam: "I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK! IM A WRITER DAMMIT! IT'S NEARLY AS BAD AS IMPOTENCE!"
Alex: "Take some write-agra."
-Adam Conner and Alex P. on the medical miracle for when your writing talent won't "rise" to the occasion

Lucrece: "ho ho ho"
Adam: "merry you"
-Adam Conner and Lucrece Borrego again on shit that's just funny because it's always good to call her a ho

Adam: “I feel kind of weird for saying that I’m excited for the West Wing Inaugural address...Please tell me I’m normal?"
Erica: "I wish I could... but I'm afraid I'm a West Wing dork...and you seem to enjoy it just as much as I do... which would make you a dork by association."
Adam: I can deal with that, long as I have company."
-Adam Conner and Erica (last name withheld by request) on tonight's episode of "The West Wing." Sadly enough it didn't feature the much hyped inaugural address and boy was i pissed.

2003-02-12T13:56:00.000-08:00

"Eww! Gross! Old people kissing! Gross!"
-Matt Miller on two 50 year olds making out during Sesame Street

"You see Russ this is why I do homework in the afternoon, because daytime television SUCKS!"
-Matt Miller on the crapiness of early pm television

Adam: "Are any of you planning to go to med school?"
Ryan: "Whenever I think about being I doctor, I just ask myself if I would want to cut open by me...and no."
-Ryan McCormick on why he won't become a doctor

Aaron: "Is this John Mayer?"
Everyone else: "This is TUPAC!"
-Aaron "Chicken Biscut" Bock on why he's a dumbass of the highest caliber

(Yoni rounds corner of hall intoxicated and strumming a guitar)
Yoni (screaming): "HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU I HAVE PERFECT PITCH?!?! ONCE I HEAR AN E KEY I HAVE PERFECT PITCH!"
Adam: "Just when my faith in humanity was being restored...it all comes crashing down."
-Adam Conner on Yoni's making him lose faith in humanity

"It's like have you ever seen someone so ugly you couldn't look away? And there's two of them!"
-Adam Conner on the absurdity of Aaron Bock and Yoni congregating at the end of the hall at 1am

2003-02-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

"One man's write-up is another man's freedom fighter!"
-Ryan "Rugby" Kilpatrick on being written up by the RA for playing football in the hall. The editorial staff of "Quotes of the Day" stands shoulder to shoulder with Ryan on this great injustice to the social system and applaud his efforts to end this tyranical crackdown on freedom. VIVA!

"I've been telling people lately that my clumsiness is both a gift and a handicap."
-Matt Maez on his inherient clumsiness

"I have this problem with being compulsively and excessively honest."
-Kate Riopa on her personality (there's nothing wrong with it BTW)

"It's nice, but does anyone actually look at your quotes of the day page?"
-Kelly Shea's IM to my hyping this page in my away message

"Adam for pres!"
-Amy's rocking awesome IM to my away message earlier tonight. She's the best!

Adam: "I put myself in your phone book as "Sexiest Man Alive."
Lauren: "Gee, little concieted tonight are we?"
-Adam Conner and Lauren on the attitude problem I developed tonight

"I'm gonna put my hand on your leg and slowly start sliding it up. Let me know when it becomes uncomfortable."
-Adam Conner's patented method for getting slapped quickly

Liz: So there's been this void in my life lately
Liz: And I finally figured out
Liz: It was because I wasn't talking to you everynight
Liz: So that needs to be fixed
-Elizabeth Steinfield on me being the thing that can plug the vast void in her life.

Lucrece: my class didn't know what the magna carta was
Adam: the magna carta
Adam: seriously?
Lucrece: yes, the magna fucking carta
Adam: damn
Adam: that was the thing lincoln signed to free the slaves right?
Lucrece: haha fuck you
Adam: no wait that was the declaration of constitution
Lucrece: and fuck you once again
Lucrece: oh, wait, you're just being sarcastic to burn calories
Lucrece: you don't need to lose weight, skip!
-Adam Conner and Lucrece Borrego doing our thing

"She's part of the axis of evil! There's Iraq, Iran, North Korea, and Jamie!"
-Alex P. on a girlfriend that apparently ended badly

"The first things you need to get when you first get to Costa Rica are a machete, a pair of pig boots, and some mallaria medication....then you are set!'
-Matt E. on his Costa Rica

2003-02-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

Here's the Quotes of the Day Running Score Board so Far! Congrats to all those that have been lucky enough to make it onto the board and keep up the great moments!
The Proud Father of this Website-Adam Conner

Arranged by number of comments listed on the site and then alphabetically after the top 5

Top 5

Adam Conner: 21
Elizabeth Steinfield: 7
Professor Loge:6
Chris Miller: 6
Lucrece Borrego: 5

Those with 4

Matt Miller: 4
Lorena Seitz: 4
Stiffler (John Zonderwyk): 4

The Pithy 3

Dan Getman: 3
Ryan Kilpatrick: 3
Kate Riopa: 3
Russ Tanguay: 3

The Lucky 2

Kyle F.: 2
Matt Maez: 2
My Political Rhetoric in Political Communication Class: 2
Kelly Shea: 2
Unknown, Unattributed, or Anonymous: 2

And all the 1's

Princess Golritz "2" Amid:1
Jodi Barrett:1
Mike Delesio:1
Kathleen: 1
Evan Hass:1
Danny Kratzer:1
Mike Richmond:1
Travis Zander:1

2003-02-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

"We're not going out or anything official. We've just formed an exploratory committee."
-An Unattributed Floormate who wishes to keep his love life confidential until things become official then I'll change the quote. (2 points. (1) I respect the anominity of my sources and (2) Jesus you know you go to GW when kids speak of relations in the same level as political campaigns)

"It was the first book I'd read since...about 1998."
-Stiffler (John Zonderwyk) on the experience of learning in college

"Seriously it was a good strategy and we played well. Sending Adam to guard that one guy was a tough call, I thought he was gonna get smoked. Good job guarding the smallest guy Adam, you did a suprisingly good job since you were the tallest person on our team."
-Stiffler on our B-Ball strategy

Lucrece: i almost burnt down a T station today!
Lucrece: yay me!
Adam: wtf?
Lucrece: we were waiting for our shuttle in the cold
Lucrece: it was midnight
Lucrece: we were early
Lucrece: had hour to wait
Lucrece: so we lit a fire in the trash can to keep warm
Lucrece: but it got a little out of hand
Lucrece: and this drunk guy had to help us put it out
Lucrece: destroyed the whole trash can!!
Adam: jesus
Adam: Only my friends
Lucrece: thought you'd be proud
-Lucrece Borrego and Adam Conner on the various reasons that there are days when Adam is the voice of reason and has to deny knowing some of his friends

"You're running Bartlet for America aren't you?"
-Adam Conner on a girl running a political campaign in her away messages via West Wing quotes (unattributed)

"No you see my powers of deductive reasoning are second to none. My deductive reasoning is not to be mocked! In the complete I connect seemingly unrelated items and can come to a conclusion so startlingly accurate you would think I'm a damn fortune teller. And in the absesnce of fact I make things up!"
-Adam Conner on his superior forms of deductive reasoning

Adam: "President Bush just raised the color coded "Terror Alert" level from yellow to orange. But my TV at work has the picture cut off so it just says "Error Alert: High"
Someone I can't remember:"That's a pretty fair descriptor of Bush's presidency."
-Adam Conner and someone I cannot for the life of me recall

2003-02-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

Professor: "Is there a black and white in truth? Certainly not in politics."
Student: "How about a darker grey and a lighter grey?"
-Pithy comeback to a posed question in my Political Rhetoric in Political Communication class (not my own)

"You've lost 9 pounds since you got to college Skippy? Jesus sarcasm must burn calories like mad."
-Lucrece Borrego on the miracle of Adam's weight loss since his arrival at college

2003-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

Matt: "I hate the Crocodile Hunter (Stever Irwin)."
Chris: "I want him to get eaten by something."
Evan: "Yeah."
Chris: "And not by something like a crocodile, I want him to be eaten by something PUSSY."
Matt: "That'd be great."
Chris: "Like a fucking anteater. It looks all passive then BAM! It kills him and sucks the skin off his face."
Evan: "I'd pay to see that."
-Matt Miller, Evan Hass, and Chris Miller dreaming of ideal deaths for the Crocodile Hunter guy

"And the Donkey (democrats)...who the hell wants to vote for an ass?! God what a great line!"
-Professor Loge in my Political Rhetoric in Political Communication class

2003-01-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

Adam: "Chicks dig accents. I can't imagine how it drives the girls crazy where he lives (England)."
Lorena: "Adam?"
Adam: "Yes?"
Lorena: "HE DOESN'T HAVE AN ACCENT IN ENGLAND!"
-Adam Conner and Lorena Seitz on the girl getting power of accents and how that is negated in a native land

Adam: "You know some people have an asian fetish."
Lorena: "Who?"
Adam: "I'm just going off what I've been told...and I hold faith that they exist."
-Adam Conner and Lorena Seitz on the sex appeal of asian folks

"I endorse good karma."
-My Political Rhetoric Professor

"Jodi Foster was fat and ugly at the time and was seen sucking face on the street...and it was just kind of gross."
-Political Rhetoric Professor on Jodi Foster in the 1980's

"I remember back in the day when there were REAL PROTESTS. I'm talking freshman year IMF protests in 99...or was it 2000? That was where it was at, that was the real thing."
-Political Rhetoric Junior recalling the glory days of GW protests

2003-01-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

"I'm building a JO Fortress."
-Kyle Fielding's response to the idea of JO Cubicles

"You put your left hand down your pants so your right hand is free to shake hands, make phone calls, JO, or whatever."
-Ryan Kilpatrick on the placement of his hands in his pants

Lorena: "Fuck you Chris! Shut the fuck up and back the fuck off!"
Chris: "Wanna a piece of me?"
Lorena: "Wanna fuck?!?!"
Chris: "...OK."
Lorena: "Shit I meant wanna fight!"
-Chris Miller and Lorena Seitz during a verbal battle while watching the State of the Union

Adam: "I am the single greatest human being ever!"
Travis: "Yeah you kind of are."
Adam: "Say it!"
Travis: "Say what?"
Adam: "Say it dammit!"
Travis: "Sigh...You are the single greatest human being ever."
Adam: "Damn straight I am! Don't you ever forget it!"
-Adam Conner and Travis Zander on why I am the single greatest human being ever following an act so badass that I can't take the time to fully describe it or do it justice

Adam: "I'm all right."
Golritz: "You best be all right. You deserve the world."
-Adam Conner and Princess Golriz "2" Amid (she made me put in the Princess and the "2")

Russ: "There will be a Russell Edward Tanguay, Junior the Third!"
Adam: "A Junior the Third eh? You must really not like the kid already."
-Adam Conner and Russell Tanguay on the name of Russell's future son

Adam: "Did you see John McCain last night during the State of the Union? He looked like he had something growing on the side of his damn face."
Mike: "Adam he has melanoma. He did have something growing on the side of his face and it's called CANCER."
Adam: "Oh...that makes what I said earlier look kind of insensetive doesn't it?"
Mike: "Just a little."
-Adam Conner and Mike Richmond demostrating Adam's capacity for being an insensetive asshole

Adam's IM: Ho
Adam's IM: la
Lucrece's IM: Hi Skippy this is Audrey (Lucrece's mom), Lucrece isn't here right now. But I'll let her know you IMed her in such a clever way that involved calling her a "Ho" and then followed by "la" so it looks like you meant to say "Hola."
-Adam Conner and Audrey Arhuleta (Lucrece's mom) in an akward IM conversation which proves you should always make sure you know who you're IMing

2003-01-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

"SERENITY NOW!"
-Matt Maez's rallying cry for calm in an otherwise crazy world

"...Good, you're normal..."
-Liz Steinfield's response to Adam using a PC rather then a Mac (I think she was too tired to fully comprehend what she was saying)

Kate: "We had some hall trauma last night."
Adam: "Not hall drama but hall trauma? Whoa."
-Kate and Adam's conversation on the status of residence hall events

"You know I think I've figured out the problem with our basketball team. Any plan that makes me the tallest person on the team has to be fundamentally flawed."
-Adam's analysis on his Basketball team's performance during a hellwell pickup game

2003-01-22T15:12:00.000-08:00

"Guess who's back...back again? Adam's back...tell a friend. Adam's back, Adam's back, Adam's back..."
-Adam Conner's voicemail

"You're a dork...such a dork. What a dork...a big dork. What a dork, what a dork, what a dork. My God you're such a loser. Oh and by the way I need a big favor..."
-Liz Steinfield's voicemail left to Adam which by the way is a perfect example of exactly how NOT to ask a favor from someone

Adam: "I was asleep when you called and really tired. It took me a second to reorient myself."
Stiffler: "I swear to God I'll reorient you if I EVER hear that voicemail of yours again...I'll reorient you real good."
-Adam Conner and Stiffler on Adam's Voicemail Eminem Impression

"I am going to murder you. I was calling to see if Ed (friend in the Emergency Room) was OK, but after hearing that voicemail I am just going to hurt you. And then I am going to kill you. Kill you until you're dead."
-Chris Miller's message to Adam on his voicemail

"You are the biggest tool alive!"
-Kathleen's reaction to the voicemail

"You know I really didn't believe it until I heard it...but you are a loser."
-Kelly Shea's reaction to the voicemail

2003-01-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

"...I invest in my friends..."
-Kate on the value of friendship

Professor Loge: "Who is the leader of the anti-war movement?"
Adam: "Saddam Hussein?"
-Adam Conner's pithy comment on the war in Iraq

2003-01-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

"I hope this food doesn't turn me into a lesbian."
-Dan Getman's fears that his professor's inviting the class to dinner would turn him into a lesbian like the professor

Question to Chuck D from audience: "When are record companies going to stop taking advantage of rap artists?"
Chris' muttered sarcastic comment: "When they start exploiting techno."
-Chris Miller during an evening spent with the pioneering rap artist Chuck D on the Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr Day.

2003-01-19T17:45:00.000-08:00

Adam: "Hey guess who is coming to D.C.? Yo Yo Ma."
Chris: "Want to know who is not going to go see that? Yo Yo Me."
-Chris Miller's response to the announced concert date of world famous celloist Yo Yo Ma's concert date in D.C.

2003-01-18T15:29:00.000-08:00

"...you're fucking awesome..."
-Elizabeth Steinfield in a quote about Adam Conner taken completely and wholely out of context. But it's gramattically correct

2003-01-18T14:07:00.000-08:00

Stiffler: "I AM GOING TO RAPE YOUR QUARTERBACK!"
Adam: "What's the penalty for raping a quarterback?"
Stiffler: "15 yard penalty and possession of the ball."
-Stiffler and Adam while Stiffler was losing to Matt Miller in Madden for PS2

2003-01-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

"...why aren't I on Adam's quote page??"
-Kate's away message on Friday Night

"So I only let the phone ring three times and then I hang open, no matter is she answers or not. Then she sees that she missed my call and has to call me back, which means the balls in my court! I'm in control! I have all the power and dictate from there."
-Matt Maez on how to gain the upper hand with his hookup buddy Pixely (not the brightest)

Lorena: "I've been naked with gymnasts."
Adam: "Boys or Girls?"
Lorena: "Both."
-Lorena Seitz and Adam Conner on the fit and toned bodies of gymnasts

"Yoni hates boobs."
-Seen written on a whiteboard on the second floor of HOVA

"That TV show Fastlane on Fox...yeah...it's like that show V.I.P....only less direct. It's more like an hour long drive-by."
-Overheard by some Ph.D. I intern with

2003-01-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

"All we can do is prevent those people from working by taking their jobs."
-Matt Miller on stupid people

"I think GW is a lot more fun than a prison."
-Matt Miller's response to Adam Conner's pondering of a life of crime

2003-01-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

Jodi: "Naps are great."
Adam: "I don't know where i would be without them."
Jodi: "Probably sad and tired and lost somewhere."
-Jodi Barrett and Adam Conner on the benefits of napping

"I forgot how much I missed the ghetto."
-Lucrece Borrego on missing New Mexico

"It was my first time to an Indian Casino. And it was suprisingly white-trashy."
-Kelly Shea on her visit to a California Native American gambling establishment

"Don’t be upset over a girl for longer then you were happy about it…because if you are you must be crazy."
-Mike Delesio quoting a friend on love

"Skip, you aren't really bitter, but you maintain a slight and valid bitterness in the "i'm going to use this to the advantage of my brutal sarcasm, but i'm not going to let it get me down" way."
-Lucrece Borrego on my bitterness towards life

"I can make a grill. Just bring me two sticks, some wire, and a leatherman!"
-Danny Kratzer and his directions for keeping us fed while on a camping trip with meat but no grill

Adam: "I almost died this weekend"
Liz: "Oh my god, what happened?"
Adam: "A slushie machine exploded."
-Adam Conner and Elizabeth Steinfield on my near death encounter with a slushie machine

2003-01-14T17:33:00.000-08:00

"Chicks dig resources! Natural fucking selection! Charles Fucking Darwin! Origin of fucking species!"
-Kyle F. on why rich men get women

"Maxim (magazine) makes sex seem so complicated."
-Dan Getman on a six-page Maxim magazine article on pleasing one's partner

"Whenever you're trying to pick-up quasi-intellectuals at dinner parties, use this word I made up. Problemize. That's right kids you can't get tenure unless you make up words!"
-Professor Loge my professor for my Political Rhetoric in Political Communication class on our first day

"They're all fuck-tards!"
-Chris Miller on the Democratic Presidential Candidates

"Yeah Adam Conner is a white name. Heck I didn't know you were asian till I looked through the peep-hole."
-Russ Tanguay on Adam's ethnicity.

Adam: "You know how amused I am by shiny things."
Liz: "So I should've gotten you a disco-ball for Christmas?"
Adam: "Naw that's too much. Really I would've been fine with a ball of foil. Cause then when I got bored of the shininess I could've just bit it."
-Adam Conner and Elizabeth Steinfield on how to amuse oneself in Dallas, TX.

"That's G to the Hetto!"
-Dan Getman on an elevator he was forced to take to the apartment of his lesbian english teacher

"It makes sense that people with white names are more likely to get ahead. That's just how society is. They're more likely to hire a Jones then Chiquita Laquanda Banana."
-Russ Tanguay on white names

"Yeah so I got my haircut and it's still longer then Hillary Clinton's."
-Matt Miller on visiting his stylist over break

"So there's my good friend Adam. And he's like the living embodiment of Murphy's Law."
-Liz on explaining me to her parents